Psyche

°Vii. The Wonder Years

Personality is an unbroken series of successful gestures.
_John Lennon.

At Irene's early days of growing up, when she did not know what puberty or maturation was, she would play pretend with her mum's clothes and her dolls. Chika was always busy in her room either pressing her phone, napping or reading her books. She would beg chika to play with her but Chika only wanted to do a makeover for her little sister and when she was done, Chika would show her a mirror and Irene would scream hiding in a wardrobe saying that she saw a monster and until the monster went, she wouldn't come out.

Little did she know that she was the monster.

Irene cherished her junior secondary days - (The days when their flat chest announced itself) that she would envy her friends when they talked about the kind of bras to wear, the ones that choked, the ones that resembled an old woman's and so on. One night in hostel, They had just come back from the prep class when she looked at her red face towel and the wheels in her head turned. She excitedly jumped to her bed and slept while smiling. Tomorrow is a big day.

The next day arrived. Irene heard the morning bell, hurriedly went to have her bath, came back to dress up in her ironed white short sleeved shirt, maroon tie on a lavender pleated pinafore with her black polished cover shoes. She finished dressing and started chatting with her friends.

"Amara, aren't you going to have your bath? Today isn't a good day to be sleeping in."

Amara yawned and looked down from her bed which was on the upper part of her bunk. She sighed when she looked at the time, "Wait o, Irene, I thought we were competing".

Irene with raised brows asked, "with what?"

"Sleeping". Amara said as a matter-of-fact. "Why didn't you wake me up? And you're all dressed now. Shift biko, I need my towel." Irene shifted moving her legs sluggishly, saddened at the fact that even Amara didn't notice. If Amara didn't notice, how would others notice her in school. Amara undressed and asked Irene to pass her hair net. Irene stretched and took it but didn't give her, she stretched her hand and quickly withdrew it when Amara's hands were closer. She did it three times. Amara grew tired and forcefully took the net from Irene's hands that were in her chest. She took it and wore it immediately. She turned back and this time looked at Irene's chest. She stilled with her eyes almost bulging out from the socket.

"What's that, why are you looking like that? You're scaring me. Did you see a ghost?". Irene pretended to not know but why she was looking like that.

Amara stepped closer and whispered, "when did you grow..?"

"Grow what". Amara pointed to Irene's chest wanting to touch it but Irene slapped her hand away playfully. They chuckled both looking at each other.

"I am not surprised that you didn't notice".

Amara waved her off, "Don't lie jor, I looked at you yesterday during prep and I still met your flat chest so is it magic?"

Irene thought about what she said and removed it remembering that her own time will come.

In senior secondary school one, Irene was adding weight and her chest was beginning to announce itself. She ate junks and anything that had calories in it just so she won't get ridiculed by boys but it did not seem to work. No matter what she did, people talked.

She changed her hostel wears into baggies. All the clothes she shopped for was baggy especially the tops and blouses. The insults were starting to get to her. Boys in her class ogled, catcalled, called her different silly names that no one would like to be called. She started distancing herself from everyone that she called a friend. Amara tried severally to know what was wrong but the high fenced barbed wired walls Irene had created wouldn't cave. It was made of iron mixed bricks. Amara pounded on the walls hard but they didn't and wouldn't be pulled.

Irene stopped her junks. She threw away all the foods that had calories brought by either her sister or her parents during visiting days. She stopped going to the dining. She buried her head in her books shutting her heart from all form of boys. Boys made her walls go higher each time they came across her. She thought being their friend won't make them insult her.

She became the irony of her former self, an introvert. Some People trampled on her feelings taking her quietness for nothing. She let in Amara when she stood up for her one day. She realized she had been foolish to have let her go.

Dimeji came into her life when he first came to Baner's. She had assisted him with finding his class and from then on, their friendship kicked off. He became the shoulder she leaned on. The pillar to hold on when she crumbled. They met Tola when an incident happened.

The dark skinned boy with wire rimmed glasses shattered her walls causing chaos in the No boys fence. They became the right angled triangle when the three sides met, shared their insecurities together. Together, nothing could break them but Adjacent tore opposite apart.

******
When Irene stopped eating, She lost a lot of pound. It got to a point where she forgot to eat depending only on drinks avoiding any food that had calories. In school, she would  have dizzy spells and even saw double at some point but she all ignored the signs. She lost concentration when studying and ended up falling asleep to a rumbling stomach. Too many times, Irene had thought of eating herself to stupor but the memory of how everyone had something to say when she was in sight. She would take deep breaths and focus on the blurry lines of her textbook.

It was Wednesday, Sports day in Baner's Foundation college and every student must  participate in one or two activities. The prefects and teachers made rounds to ensure all the students were out of their classes. Irene, Tola and Dimeji went out to meet their mates on the field. Irene stopped on the road saying she forgot to take her bottle of water. She got to the class and removed her shoes. They were killing her feet. She was however perplexed because this had never happened. She shook her head at the thought and tried massaging them but she could only make out blurry images until she could see them no more.

Dimeji alongside Tola were at the field. Different activities such as races, football, basketball, table tennis and other outdoor activities were usually played but today it was football. Tola sat at the bleachers watching the game. Dimeji stood at the goal post of the football field waiting for one of the players to score. His mind went to Irene remembering how tired she had been looking in the past few days. He didn't see the ball coming and when he did, it was too late but he taught he could catch it. The ball hit him swinging his hand to the goal post. He screamed and fell down. The team gathered and he clutched his hands wincing in pain. The referee blew the whistle and the medicals attended to him. When they were through, Tola helped him to the class and what they saw frightened the life out of them.

Irene laid at the floor with her arms spread. She was unresponsive.

Tola ran to get help because of Dimeji's hand while Dimeji rushed to Irene's side trying to resuscitate her and when he felt for a pulse, it was weak and slow. He sobbed taking in sharp breaths with tears blurring his vision. He just couldn't believe that this had happened. His gut poked at him daily to ask why she had dark circles and was looking so lean like a broomstick. He remembered when he saw her clutching her stomach two days ago but he thought it was girl stuff and Tola had taken care of her. It was his fault for not asking why she looked so tired. It was his fault that every bad thing happened.

Tola arrived with the nurse and the school bus. Two male teachers and a female carried her out of the class. One on her leg, one on her waist and the other on her hands. They put her on one of the seats and the driver kicked in the ignition.

Tola and Dimeji stood to gather the dust the bus had left.

Note:
Blast from the past.
Who listens to Jon Bellion?