1964 Killing

We kiss in silence our last. Our memories collide a journey that has ended not so long ago. I'm sorry my belligerent self made you fall for the wrong reasons. I'm watching you walk as the blood spikes the snow. This kenosis between us is heartbreaking yet I'm happy. My kairosclerosis gets to me at the wrong moments. I'm afraid of pain, both yours and mine. I take you into my embrace as a daggers left to be the bearer of bad news. A name I've carved into the forests weeping wood. I'll watch you walk away as the temperatures of the splatter bounce. Behind the mist you enter the heavens where sight is blurred and sounds echoes somewhere far away. The hymns I've wrote to you weren't my thoughts just machines made from the heart. You're not the innovation I wanted to make, I built you out of the wrong reasons. At late when the nighthawk strikes again giving me your appearance. I'm a heartworm and can't stop creating lies to feed you, such crippled thoughts churn the mind. The mind game I've made you fall for. I'm sorry you're walking away from me yet I can't stop you, I made you leave. As you go to the light, I'll be here, cleaning the crimson droplets and hide the limp body you were once stuck with. I've released you, as I go to strike myself as I hold you, I'm cursed upon. The men bear a bloodshed howl, "stop!" All they see is a beloved man against the snow wrapped in a drabs arms. The scent of your hair as we sit in the quiet still in a world that is not quite warm and not quite cold. Scolding colors of adrenaline flush over me. My devilish sadness coming from my heart that's so loud they feel it beneath their feet. Inching hands and knees, along the shuffles of snow, the enforcement tread towards me and look to the side. When I call with my serpent tongue, not a word comes out, they see what they see and don't want to hear a word I have to say. But a crime is no less a crime when done a thousand times. It's my insanity, I repeat such tragedies through the centuries expecting a different outcome each time. I turn scared, dropping the very hymn I used to take your life as the men take mine with a single bullet.