I'll Change, I Swear

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by BenzoClownLarry

by BenzoClownLarry

"I'll Change, I Swear"

Content warnings: Narry, topics of self-hate and body dysmorphia

This one is short.

Louis's POV

Basically Harry likes Niall. And basically it hurts me. I'm happy that they're happy. I should be, at least, and I try to show them I am but I'm not. I want to tell Harry how I feel but I can't do that to him. I love him too much to do that to him. Every time Harry laughs at a joke Niall makes, my heart skips a beat. Why can't I do that? Harry always talks about how Niall's eyes are the prettiest shade of blue. My eyes are blue, aren't they pretty too? Would he like me if I was taller? What if I styled my hair differently? Or dressed differently? My voice is too annoying, isn't it? What if I lost weight, or ate less, or maybe if I ate more? I should dye my hair, that's it! I can go out and buy new clothes! I'll change my schedule for grocery shopping so I won't buy so much food anymore, that will help with my weight. Maybe-

"Louis," my name being called snaps me out of my thoughts. I turn to Harry, who is frowning. "Are you alright," he asks. "Yeah, why," I ask back, unsure of what was happening. He shakes his head, "You just looked far in thought. I wanted to make sure you were okay," he tells me genuinely, which makes my heart sputter. I nod, "Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks," I smile, and receive a soft smile back. I look around and notice Niall was no longer there with us. "Where's Niall," I ask, turning back to Harry. "Had to go home," he says simply, shrugging. I nod, standing up. Harry's eyes follow me as I start walking away. "Louis, where are you going," he asks, catching up to me. I frown and look at him. "Home, where else would I go," I question. He glances at the ground and then looks back up at me. "I dunno," he pauses, "it's only 7 in the afternoon, do you want to do something together," he asks me. I feel my cheeks heat up. "The three of us, you mean," I ask. He shakes his head. "You and me," he states simply. "Oh, sure," I try to hold in my urge to hug him right then. It had been so long since we last hung out together, just the two of us.

We ended up going to my house anyway. We are currently laying on my carpet in my bedroom, laughing. I was making him laugh and he was making me laugh, too. He suddenly sat up and turned to me. I sat up as well. He stands up, and I watch as he walks over to my closet. "Hmm," he hums as he scans through my clothes. "Ah-ha," he exclaims as he takes a t-shirt off of a hanger and turns around to show me. It was the t-shirt I got from Harry for my 16th birthday. It was a dark turquoise colour and was striped. I loved the shirt so much. He smiled, and I smiled as well. "Yes," I question him. "I hoped you still had this shirt," he says as he walks over. I stand up, a frown across my face. "Of course I do, Harry," is all I say. "Can you put it on," he asks shyly. I laugh, taking the shirt and turning around, taking the one I had on off, and putting the one I had taken from Harry on. I drop the old shirt to the ground and turn around. Harry smiles, and I do too. "It makes your eyes more vibrant," he compliments me. I blush. "Oh, thanks," I smile. "Is that why you bought it," I laugh, knowing that that wasn't the reason he did.

"Yeah," he nods. So his response surprised me. He liked my eyes that much? "Oh, thank you Harry," I grin, "your eyes are pretty," I compliment him back. His cheeks turn red. "Thank you, Louis," he says kindly. "And Lou," he says my name, looking deeply into my eyes. "I just want you to know I think you're perfect the way you are, alright," his voice was just above a whisper. I nod, confused. "Don't you dare change a goddamn thing, alright," he softly smiled, walking closer and leaning in to hug me, wrapping his arms around my torso. I do the same, hugging him back. I was still confused, but I wasn't going to question it or argue about it. I was glad Harry thought this way about me.

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Post

Louis wasn't aware he was thinking out loud earlier before he was snapped out of his thoughts. Harry and Niall had heard him, but neither had the guts to tell Louis at the time. And when they finally did, Louis was no longer. They don't know where he went or how or anything. They agreed they shouldn't have told him. But it was too late at that point.

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Hello! What's this? Correct, a one-shot with less than 1,000 words. I love you all. Thank you for being here. Thank you for staying.

BenzoClownLarry