THE EXAM CALLED LIFE

CHAPTER 43

Song of the chapter - River of tears by Alessia Cara

*ARAMINA*

"I'm sure Oliver would have loved to watch me stand here and give praises to him. Knowing him, he is probably watching and smiling at all of the people gathered here today. Oliver honey, we will miss you. When you died, it was the biggest shock of my life. Nothing prepared me for this moment. The thing about death is that it is very real and none of us realise it until it happens to us or our friends and family. Death is merciless, it takes anyone in its way and we rely too much on this carriage ride that we call life; too much to be surprised by it."

I sniffled watching my mother say her tribute to my father. We were at the church and many people had gathered to pay their respects to my father. Damon squeezed my hand and i intertwined our fingers as he looked at me reassuringly. The attendance was quite high i might add and everyone was dressed in the usual black colour except for our father's family and us of course.

The wind from the window a little far from where i was seated brushed across my cheek cooling the hot tears that streamed down my face. The long sleeved white dress i wore wrapped my body warmly and it was different from the usual skin on skin dresses i loved wearing. I lay on my brother's shoulder for comfort and allowed myself to be distracted by the way the wind ruffled the first undone buttons of his shirt making the chain he wore dangle from his neck. I wiped my eyes once more wrapping my fingers tightly on the black handkerchief i clutched.

Damon rubbed on my arm and i came back to reality to hear my mother call me to the platform. All this while she had mastered the art of composure preventing herself from breaking down in front of the crowd. I took a deep breath as Damon tried to leave my hand but i clutched his begging him with my eyes to accompany me to the stand. He nodded to my message and rose with me to the stand. On making sure i was okay, he trotted back to his seat and felt the immense pressure from the crowd looking at me expectantly.

"Umm, first i would like to thank you all for coming here. It is with great sadness that I..." My voice broke as i spoke and i kept quiet momentarily trying to regain my composure. "My father was great in his..." I looked at Damon and my mother feeling suffocated trying to get strength from them. My mother bent to wipe her tears as Damon comforted her. I looked around and all i could see were grieving faces and heard sniffles and cries everywhere. I looked for my own source of strength but he was nowhere to be found. He was responsible for all this. I thought i could feel his warmth next to me. Even after everything he did, all i craved for was Blake... He was all i needed at this very moment.

Still got the flowers that you sent
And the note you wrote
To say that were were meant
To be forever
I keep them all as evidence
In a drawer under the mirror
Filled with empty promises

I don't know why i keep
Letting you lie to me
Hard as i try
It seems
I can't break away

I gripped hard on the podium trying to keep my cool and be focused on exactly what i tried to say. I looked ahead and thought i saw my father smiling at me. Instead of feeling reassured, i felt more of pain and sadness, the air around me becoming less and less as my lungs constricted. I thought i saw Blake's hand cover my own and i lifted my eyes to meet my brother's. All of a sudden i felt nauseous and light headed and my legs could hold my weight no longer as my grip to the podium loosened and I collapsed to the floor. My eyes struggled to remain open and saw Damon tower over me before they gave away and closed.