My eyes flutter open, where am I? I sit up and look around. I'm in jacks room, I sigh and stand up, I walk to jacks closet and grab a hoodie that way to big for me. I shrug and start walking down stairs.
I glance in the mirror as I walk by one, I quickly look back in the mirror and see bruises and cuts on my face, I touch my cut. I cringe at the touch, it's hurts.
"Babe." I hear a low voice, I jump and turn around. "I'm sorry," I frown and look at jack. "Sorry for what?" I ask. "For not helping you," his voice cracks. "it's all my fault I'm sorry, I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to protect you.." I walk to him. "It's okay, I'm okay, it's fine." I lie. it's not okay, I'm not okay, obviously he can't protect me always, but maybe I should just kill myself.
I look at the clock; 5:00 pm. "I should go home." I tell him. "I love you." I didn't lie that time, I love him so much. "I love you too," he pauses. "Do you need a ride?" I shake my head. "I'll walk." He smiles weakly. "Here's your phone, be careful and call me if you need anything okay?" I hug him and peck his lips. "Okay." I take my phone. (relationship goals af am I right or am I right?)
I start walking out the front door. I start walking home hoping my parents aren't home so I have cover up with my moms make up.
I start think of excuses to tell them. 'Mom, dad, I was at the park with jack on the swings and I did a face plant.' 'Oh just tripped' 'I got hit in the face by a tennis racket and fell and cut my face' (tru story for me, me and my cousin jace where at school and he hit me in the face with a racket •Rylah is totally laughing rn•) I laugh at my lame excuses
I think going with the racket thing. I see my house from a far, I look around, I see a group of boys. I smile until one of them turn to me, it's cameron I start walking faster and faster. "Hey fag!" He yells. The other boys laugh. "Going home to cut?" Taylor shout from across the road. "Just kill yourself! No one care if you alive or dead!" Nash snaps.
I feel the tears rush down my face. I sniff trying to ignore the hurtful words. "Don't eat tonight, you're already fat enough!" Is the last thing I heard before I run into my house and to my room ignoring my mom and dad.
I sit on my bed and sob, should I call jack? I think to myself, he would be so upset if I cut. I pull off jacks hoodie and look at the scars buried deep within my wrists. I walk to the bathroom. I'm so fat.. Why does jack even love me? They're right, im a freak. I lock the bathroom door.
I haven't cut for a month, I think it's time to start again. I grab the sharp sliver blade.
1 cut "fag.." I mumbled
2 cuts "fat.." I mumble again
3 cuts "freak.." I mumble
4 cuts "loser.." I start crying again
I stubble around looking for something to clean myself with I see a bottle of pills. 'Just kill yourself! No one cares if you're alive or dead!' I hear echoing in my brain. I grab a cloth and put it on my cuts. I grab the bottle of pills, and just stare at them. I grab bandages and rap my arm.
I throw away the cloth, but I keep the pills. I start walking to my room, I wipe my tears. I hide the pills. Just in case.
I'm scared of dying actually, i don't want to die. But that's the only way out..
Right?
I put on jacks hoodie, I take in the smell of faded clone. I should probably give it back, tomorrow.
I sit on my bed and grab my phone. I go on Instagram, 3 new comments?
'You look so fat in this picture..' I frown at my phone and look at another comment.
'Fags' I look at the picture of me and jack, I feel my eyes water. I look on the last comment.
'You're really cute" I look at the Instagram username; it's just a random girl I don't even know. I smile and look at the time 8:00 pm already? I yawn and lay down under the covers. I get a text.
Hayes😏: are u ok?! I heard what happened my brothers such a asshole..
Me: I'm fine it's okay just a few cuts and stuff
The answer was almost instant.
Hayes😏: glad your ok
I don't bother to answer back, I'm just super tired, I'm just going to bed. I take my glasses off and turn off the light. I lay back down and slowly fall asleep.
*morning time*
"Jack. Jack, hon- oh my gosh what happened to your face?!." I open my eyes to see my mom. "I got hit with a tennis racket and I fell and cut my face, but I'm fine." I fake smile. "Be more careful and I made you a breakfast sandwich." I smile. "Thanks mom." She smiles and starts walk out.
I stand up and take off jacks hoodie, my shirt, and my pants. I hear a knock on the door. "U-uh just wait a second." I yell, scrambling to find clothes.
"It's Jack." He says, I blush. "I don't care I don't have clothes on." I tell him, I hear the door opening I panic looking at my arm. "Jack don't come in!" I yell.
"But why?" He walk in shutting the door. I turn away from him, hiding my arm. "Turn around." He says. "No please get out." I tell him. "I've seen you in your boxers before jj." He says. He turn me around, I look up his smiling face. "What that white thing on your arm?" He asks.
He grabs my hand. "W-why do y-you have a b-bandage there..?" He asks as he starts taking it off. I move his hand away. "I'm sorry." I tell him. "I'm so so so sorry." I frown and sigh, I don't want to cry. "They pushed me too far." A tear slips.
He hugs me. "Don't let them win okay?" I rap my arm around his neck. "Now get changed." He laughs and let's go. He grabs clothes for me. "Oh I have your hoodie, I take it and hand it to him. "Keep it." He says, I smile. "Oh.. Okay thanks baby." I grab my clothes and start putting them on.
"Can I do your hair?" He asks. I pull the hoodie down. I laugh. "I guess so." He greens my hand and runs into the bathroom with me, shutting the door. He lifts me up, putting me on the counter. He grabs gel and a hair brush, he starts brushing my hair. I close my eyes when he gets close to my eyes.
He keeps brush my hair, my hair was a mess, I keep my eyes closed. All of a sudden I feel his lips on mine, I smile and start kissing him.
For five minutes we just makeout in the bathroom, my hair is a mess again. "Honey it's alm-" I push jack away when I hear my mom come in, she doesn't know I'm gay. "M-mom I-I can explain.." I jump off the counter. She run out of the washroom..
Great. Just fucking great.
-
Thoughts?
Thoughts on Nash, Cameron, and Taylor?
This is unedited because I'm so lazy.. So sorry for the mistakes.
I hope you liked the first chapter☺️
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