Ours

Chapter 21; losses we endure

   I continued to remain in my annoyed state until that fateful monday;A day we both will never forget. The previous Sunday I experienced sharp abdominal pains but I kept it to myself and tried to act tough. He realized I was having trouble sleeping and asked what the problem was. I told him I was fine and even though he didn't believe me, he kept quiet. I realized he also didn't sleep the whole night because he kept casting worried glances at me. At around 2am on Monday, the pains had become intense and I was sweating profusely. Now he couldn't keep his mouth shut and watch me anymore so he demanded I tell him what was wrong. I wasn't going to lose my life over a stupid grudge so I spilt it out. His initial reaction was to get angry that I preferred to remain childish and keep such a thing from him. When he had calmed down, he started asking a lot of questions like the typical doctor he was. He asked if I was sure it wasn't pre menstrual cramps. That question got the clocks in my mind turning and I gave him a 'knowing' look. He rushed to get me dressed up and we drove to the nearest hospital at that ungodly hour. Upon our arrival, the doctor on duty had us run some tests and when the results were brought in, our fears were confirmed. Just then, I started to bleed. The blood loss was too much that a suction dilation and curettage(D&C)  procedure was arranged that instant. The physical pain of having to go through that was nothing compared to the emotional pain I was going through. I like to bottle up my emotions but when I saw him with tears on his face, I just couldn't help but let out all the tears I was holding back. We didn't even have the joy of finding out we were going to be parents before losing the baby. After the surgery, I woke up to find him by my side, holding my hand and the whole family outside the door of my hospital room. I guess they were all anxious to know how I was faring. He gave my hands a gentle squeeze and went out to inform the family that I was okay. The nurses came in afterwards to clear me for discharge. While the younger ones were jumping with joy, that I was out of the hospital, the older women were hanging around game as if I was a porcelain bowl about to crack at the slightest fall. Frankly speaking, that was far from the truth. All I wanted to do was to curl myself up in bed and cry all day. I blamed myself for the loss. Maybe if I was a bit careful, this wouldn't have happened. Maybe I should have informed him earlier when I felt the pains. A whole lot of scenarios of what I should have done were going on in my mind but I was constantly brought back to reality by the noise of the kids playing. Eventually, everyone left but his mom and mine stayed back. They sat us both down and gave us a great piece of advice and admonished us to stay closer now more than ever and promised this wasn't the end of the road for us. "There is always light at the end of the tunnel ", his mom said.
My mom also concluded with her favorite saying, 'the sun always shines after every rain fall '. Before they left, they made sure we were comfortable enough and forced us to eat some food. We both spent the whole night crying. He promised not to annoy me anymore because he also thought if he didn't continue to stay annoyed at me, maybe this wouldn't have happened. The following day, Ama passed by to check up on us. I,  for once did not have the energy to fight with her. I just nodded to whatever she said and when she realized I wasn't going to speak to her, she left. Good riddance to bad rubbish, I thought. Stanley also passed by later. I had already killed him a thousand times in my head for telling Duke about the kiss. After consoling me for hours on end, all he got from me was a nod and an eye roll as well. Duke signaled him to come to the kitchen. They thought they were speaking in whispers but I could hear their conversation clearly. From what I gathered, Stanley was in love with Ama but he was afraid he was going to mess things up so he broke up with her without any further explanation. After a word of advice from Duke, he promised to solve the problem and get his love back. Even though I was wallowing in my self pity, I felt sorry for him because he had to constantly carry the fear of being jilted with him. That fear was keeping him away from experiencing what true love was. I hope he was going to really make things work out between them this time. Subconsciously, I remembered that would be killing two birds with one stone. What better way is there to get the two most annoying people off your back than to pair them together. Why didn't I even think of that before. When he he informed me he was leaving, I responded and even added a 'see you later'. Oh , how surprised he was that I spoke to him. My day was brightened up a little bit but the headache I had was a constant reminder of what I had lost.  Why Aj had gone MIA (missing in action) on me, I couldn't tell. I tried reaching all her phones but they were all switched off. I called Yaya to inquire about her and all I got was a rude "I haven't seen that friend of yours either, but when you do see her tell her to return my son". That was so odd I thought. Not once has he been rude to me and where was Aj, I pondered.