Vermish Fluff-fest (The Order - Vera Stone x Hamish Duke)

when I listen to your voice

"So, it's finally happening, huh?"

After two weeks of preparation and after Hamish transferred all his important non-Knight stuff into Vera's mansion, they were finally fetching Maddox from one of the Council members' house the next day.

Vera, who was consumed with a book, faced the man lying on the opposite side of the bed. "Yes, I know. This was the same conversation we had yesterday. Is anything the matter?"

His eyes widened for a second before he concealed his surprise with a huge grin. "No. Not at all. I'm just really pumped about all of this. What about you?"

She lost all interest in what she was reading after hearing that word. He's never used that word. She gently put aside the novel and examined him.

"Like I said yesterday, I don't know yet. We'll see once he gets here. Are you sure you're fine?" Her concern heightened once she noticed him subconsciously scratching at his forefinger.

"Why wouldn't I be?" His attempt to keep up his facade was a complete failure when he failed to maintain a smile. His mouth twitched and the wideness of his eyes pushed Vera to become spontaneous.

"Hamish? Let's run away." She stood up and tugged at his hand.

"Wait- can we actually do that?"

"For a few hours, yeah."

"Runaway with me, Hamish Duke."

"Anywhere."

As soon as he responded, Vera leaned in to give him a quick peck before she began walking out of the room. "Okay, go ahead and get us some blankets. I'll get the car."

"Why are you driving?"

"Because I can, and I want to."

He rolled his eyes in frustration. "Fine. I'm stealing that blanket you like so much for not answering me properly!"

"Baby!"

"Sure am yours!"

"We're at the beach?" Getting out of the car, he was hit with the cold breeze and the crashing sounds of the wave. He took in the dark hues of the water and the sky, the two meeting on the horizon. The only light was the moon's. It was a magnificent surrounding to be in, he had to admit but he still was unclear as to their purpose in being there.

"What did you think the blankets were for?" She deadpanned and he shrugged.

"Seriously, though? When did I turn you into a romantic? And please, explain in full detail." He set one of the said blankets on the sand and handed another to Vera, who motioned him to scoot closer to share.

She merely shook her head at his sentiments. "I know we're nothing close to regular couples, but we're still human. I understand that it may not be ideal, but once in a while, we need to be reminded of that. Given what we are and who we are, it's easy to forget that as much as we do not represent normalcy, we still are people with beating hearts and breathing lungs and a wanting mind."

With her eyes still lingering afar, she continued. "What I'm saying is, we need this. We need alone time. To be reminded that despite all the things that exist in our world, there's you and me and I love you. And that you don't always have to keep up this brave face. I accept all of you and that includes you in all your lowest points and all your doubts. So talk to me. Not because you need to, but because you can."

Her eyes were now on his, but because of shame, he averted his gaze. He picked up a nearby pebble and started throwing a first one, which instantly became five. "I may have been... afraid. And I would have admitted that if it weren't for the fact that I was the one so insistent on adopting. I didn't want to ruin this for us, not for Maddox either."

She placed a hand on his knee, gripping it tight. "Your worries don't invalidate you. They don't invalidate what you want and what you can do. This reaction, it's quite normal. Of course, you're going to be scared, because you actually care about doing this right. Between the two of us, none actually have great role models as parents, so it's not unusual to be wary or to have thoughts of messing up. We lived those words; the chaos, the dysfunctionality. This- it doesn't make me wanna back out at all. It reassures me that I'm going to be doing this with the greatest man I could possibly find in my life. I'm lucky and so is the boy."

There was nothing else he could have said that wouldn't have ruined the moment. He was so used to creating diversions and evading trouble, but this wasn't harmful. It was the truth. Regardless of how scary and uncomfortable it was, it was something he had to face.

"You wanna know why I took you here?" Vera broke the silence, the expression on her face showing her uncertainty. "Before deciding to keep my daughter, the water was something that helped me reflect. Back home, it wasn't a beach I went to, it was a lake but still. That choice I made, it was guided by the tranquility and the entire wholeness I felt being close to something so constant."

"While I may have some weird connection with water, I made up my mind in that very spot because I allowed myself to be free. As free as the water flowing beneath my feet. And right now, I want you to focus on nothing but yourself and breathe. Let your mind wander in whichever way it pleases."

He tilted his head and closed his eyes. His exhales were quite heavy as if attempting to let go. Vera stared at his face, grateful. For almost ten minutes, he remained still, only the heaving of his chest and his heartbeat in motion. But then he smiled- a real one this time, and opened his eyes. "Turns out, I didn't have to think hard. I already know what my mind wants; what I want. And that's to be with you."

"And Maddox?"

"I think I'm ready. Whatever happens, happens. As long as I'm with you, I can do anything. I might not have as much of a liking for bodies of water as you do, but at least, there's you. You make me feel free. Thank you for this. And I love you too. Always." Vera's head nudged him on the shoulder. Quite some time has passed of them sitting in comfortable silence, their hands finding their way to each other.

"So, should we go?"

"No. Let's stay awhile. Then we can fetch Maddox after the sun comes up."

"That's not a bad idea."