Battle Scars

Chapter Three

Scarlet's POV

I never asked to be the way I am. I never asked to look the way I do or have things happen to me. I don't want to be this sad person who everyone looks at as though she is a freak. I don't want to be the girl who was there when her brother burned to death. I don't want to be the one everyone blames everything on. Of course, it's not like I have a choice. We don't get to choose how people view us in this world. We can only view ourselves as who we really are.

I know I'm not a bad person. No matter what anyone says, I know I am not a person who goes out of their way to make other people hurt. I've never been that person, and I will never be that person. So what I don't understand is why so many people do that to me. What have I ever done in my life to make people torment me the way that they do. The names and the looks are just so hard to ignore, even if you've been doing it for years. I never had a ton of friends, and the friends I did have left.

It's hard to be alone; because when you're alone you think, and for me, thinking is never a good thing. Constantly having to rely on yourself is exhausting, especially when you're a teenager. Most days I want to lay in my bed and never wake up ever again,  but of course, there are laws about school and sadly I must obey them. Some days (Okay most days) I feel numb. I feel like there is nothing that can effect me anymore. I can hear the cruelest of names or get smashed into lockers over and over again but I just sit there doing nothing.

These days are some of my best and my worst days.

Someone hits the back of my head with what feels to be a hardcover book before mumbling the words, "Snap out of it you crazy bitch."

I sigh and roll my eyes pretending they weren't there.

today is one of those days.

I finally shut my notebook and looked up at the person standing in front of me, who had just gave me a minor concussion from the feel of it, "Can I help you?" I asked in a monotone voice that I tended to use quite often when I was in school.

"Yeah, move you loser,' the bottle blonde girl holding an algebra book snapped at me, "You're taking up valuable space in here. Go sit outside like a good little bitch."

I was sitting in the cafetieria, which I normally avoid; however it was far too hot outside to stay out there, considering I was wearing two layers of clothing. Slowly I got up without a word, grabbing my notebook and turning around. just as I was about to open the door it suddenly slammed and hit me smack in the face. I felt the pain of falling before realizing I actually fell. My face throbbed, mainly around my nose, and my back felt as though someone had just slammed it against a wall. Well I guess in this case, a floor.

laugher met my ears as everyone had seen what had happened. My chest tightened and it was getting harder and harder to breathe. My vision got blurry and I realized I was about to have an anxiety attack in front of pretty much the whole school. I quickly got off the ground and grabbed my notebook, clutching onto it for dear life as I looked up to see the person responsible.

Xavier. His eyes were wide as he took in what had just happened. He still seemed to be processing everything as his eyes met mine and widened even more once he saw the single tear fall down my face. He was finally snapping out of it when I moved past him. I heard him curse under his breath as he started to follow me as I ran to the nearest bathroom. I couldn't breathe. I had to calm down or else I would pass out.

"Scarlet!" I heard Xavier call as I rushed into the bathroom, hoping that would stop him from coming in. Of course it didn't as I heard the door slam open as I was locking the small stall with shaky hands. I slid down to the floor next to the toilet as a sob tore through my throat as I was trying to breathe. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get myself to calm down, which only made me panic even more.