11:11

Unlovable

Still Jade's Pov:
We arrived home and i ran to my room and cried.After a few minutes and of pathetic crying, i realized that i could get the chance to escape this mad house. I opened the window and escaped with freedom in my soul. I came to the only place that my mother would go to when something bad happens, the bar. I entered the place and it reeked of alcohol and as i passed by drunken people i came across a woman pulling me by my shirt collar. And i was right , it was my mother.
"Hi Jadeyeyyy what on Earth are you doing here?" She looked suprised and insanely drunk .
" I came here to find you, what happened to you and dad?"
" Jade, were not well , we have decided to divorce. I know this is hard for you but you wouldn't understand what i'm going through "she said trying to build her words. I tried to explain to her. i wanted to scream and just say ... OFCOURSE I KNOW HOW IT FEELS YOU PUT ME THROUGH EVERY FIGHT YOU GET IN YOU NEVER CARE OR BOTHER THAT IM STILL THERE YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF, but at the same time i realize that maybe my mom does go through a lot. Getting married at a young age, having to handle teen pregnancy and all that ,so i just gave her a nod and sat down to show her that i cared.
" Mom you know i could  stay here with you"
" Jade please honey just stay out of this  shit, just STAY AWAY... from me!"
My heart started to beat rapidly, maybe she's just drunk or ...
a loud thud came from the bar's entrance and by my "luck" it was my dad.
"Jade where are you ! Jade! Ugh !"
I tried to hide behind the seats begging the universe that he'd never find me.
But sadly he did.
" Jade what are you doing here, it's not that proper for your age to see ... this " he shouted , pointing at the drinkers.
"Jade lets go home ...NOW!"
" I want to stay with mom!"
" Oh why do you have to be like your mother, if only i could throw both of you out. IF ONLY YOU WERE NEVER BORN!!!!!!"
I tried to hold in my thoughts and tears , why am i so regected, what an outcast, am i really hnlovable. I just thought that maybe my parents were like that because they wanted to protect me, but now i understand, they just want to leave me.Leave their past behind, leave their mistakes, their differences , their ... useless problems.

As i walked away from my mothers arms i walked to my father , hoping he would just tell me he was sorry or he didn't mean that at all and that he and my mom loved me . But instead i was pounded on the chest , I couldn't catch breath and started coughing out blood.
" Jade stop making my life miserable, get in the car ... bitch!"
I tried to stop myself from crying and went to the car murmuring
" I've been called worse"
" WHAT did you say jade?"
"Your daughter "i said in my lowest voice.
He hit me again in the chest and pulled me to the car and slammed the door shut.I saw him talking to my mother. They started shouting at each other and after a few moments he came back and started the car.

We arrived home , it was silent the entire time .Until i tried to reason with my father.
" Dad , why do you hate me... why do you hate mom?" I told him .
Instead of an answer he took a pocket knife and dragged a bloody scar on my arm. Giving me a look of despair and anger.
I ran to my room and washed of the blood and wrapped bandages around it.
The door creaked and my brother came in.
" Jade ... where's mom?" my younger brother, Matt cried out.
" I don't know, Matt leave my room .. NoW, please!" I tried not to scare him.
He ran away and started ralking to my dad, i heard screaming and shouting. That was when I realized...am i unlovable?

A few weeks later
I still thought about my parents and stuff but i also cherished mg only friendship, Cat and i were actually not a bad duo, we were the outcasts but we didn't give a care. Rarely i would introduce myself to other kids, but i was still  called a weirdo and a frwak but in the end, Cat would comfort me akd we would chat about our day and about her weird brother.It was almost time for us to go home . Until Car's mom was about to come drive by to pick her up.
" Hey jade, do you wanna come by sometime, we could do idk stuff if yah wanna?"
" Uhm ofcourse.,not" u laughed
" Owwww come on"
" Cat no"
" Kay kay bossy, oh my mom's here , by the way you can call her Aunt Mom if yah want"
"Huh? What, you mean Auntie Catherine?Your mom told me it was fine to call her that"
" What do you mean" the kitty cat said .. woried for some reason.
" Cat you  said your mom's name was Mom, not Catherine"
" What's that supposed to mean"she worried again
" Cat your mom's name isn't mom"
I tried to process out her problem.
" Wait what...,.,.... I M FREAKING OUT... my mom's name isnt mom..., AAAAAAAAAA!!!!!" Cat started freaking out and running around the drive way.
" Cat you better calm down"i told her
" i better have a talk with my mother" she said trying not to panic
" Ok crazy, see you tomorrow" i told her waving good bye.
" kay kay see tah jadeyyy. I love yah bue bye!"she said ... wait did she say she loved me ... well ... maybe i am not unlovable. I gushed and began to realize again... maybe i am lovable ... some how.