Reading VA: Reading Vampire Academy (A VA fanfic)

Thirteen

DPOV
"The aftermath of Jesse and Ralf's lies was about as horrible as I'd expected."

My nephew successfully pronounced 'aftermath' and 'expected'. At ten he was stronger in English reading and speaking than I'd expected. He was on my Roza's lap and reading extremely well. I was proud of him. And my Roza when she helped him a few times.

The sight was beautiful. The way my Roza interacted with my nieces and nephew in general, was beautiful. It was tear inducing to see her melt around children, simply not a sight or a side you'd ever expect to see.

It saddened me to realise I'd never be able to give her that. I didn't care about having my own kids if they weren't my Roza's. I didn't see it as her taking them from me. Quite the opposite. What hurt even more is that she'd clearly already thought about them.

Back at the ski lodge, she'd brought them up in relation to Tasha's offer. Then again when I'd told her I'd rejected Tasha's offer. She'd mentioned her mother mentioning children when we'd been on the ventilation system and she'd suggested I leave her for Tasha's offer. That had made my mind up. How could I leave her behind, when she oh so clearly loved me and was hurt by nearly every interaction I had with Tasha on that trip? How could I be so selfish? How could I leave her, when I suddenly saw the grown woman in her springing forth? How could I leave her when she needed me in order to grow into the woman she could be, and now most definitely is? How could I run away like a coward when I was addicted to her? I couldn't. I'd hurt her time and again and she kept forgiving me even when in pain. I had accused her of being a selfish bitch over Christmas break, but I'd been no better. I couldn't be so selfish and hypocritical by letting Rose suffer more pain by walking away, by refusing to ride out our time at the Academy while trying to find the ideal solution.

She still hasn't told me who told her about Tasha's offer. Not that it mattered since it had been wrong of me to withhold that information from her, a personal secret not a Guardian Secret. I had no right to not sit down with her and discuss it with her like adults. I had no right to hurt her that way.

Basically, she'd given children some thought. Clearly, in the contexts of me with Tasha and her with Adrian. Which meant she'd likely compared those two situations against ours. She'd have had to be seventeen at the time and it was not something she'd have wanted to think about.

I wanted to be the one to give her children when she felt ready because she was absolutely stunning when around them. She'd matured so much since Spokane. Then again between the attack and rescue. And much more after Russia. She'd continue to grow, change and develop. But it will always be hard for her to let go of her reckless, life embracing ways; she'd never let Lissa battle the darkness on her own, nor would she ever ask her friend to forego the magic to save her own sanity. Selfless. My Roza really was selfless and humble behind that wild-girl façade. She'd eventually make an amazing mother if she ever wanted children.

I was so engrossed in my reflections and admiring of the scene in front of me. I missed a bit of information contained within this chapter. What I tuned into was precious. "At the beginning of the next day, I headed out to meet Dimitri. These practices were my favourite part of the day now, partly because of my stupid crush on him and partly because I didn't have to be around the others."

We had a good laugh over her underestimation of what connection was forming between her and I. A few snarky or sarcastic comments were thrown around.

Paul eventually got back to reading. What he recounted next had me suspecting I knew what was coming. The revelation to Roza over Mama and my sorry excuse for a father. So, I shot Mama and Yeva a warning, apologetic and questioning look. Mama nodded and Babushka instructed Paul to hand the book over to me. He did. Unquestioningly and un-hesitatingly and unhappily. Roza told him something in such a hushed tone not even I heard it. He turned somber, then mischievous. What was Roza planning? My grinning nephew nodded along, then planted a kiss on his Aunt Roza's cheek, walked over to his babushka and sat on her lap after hugging her tightly.

Oh, she was good. My Roza was very good. That settled Mama, bringing about "aww"s and laughter in the process.

I picked up from where Paul had finished. "Dimitri finally called a break. We carried the equipment we'd used on the field and returned everything to the supply room. While putting it away, he glanced at me and did a double take.
""Your hands." He swore in Russian." That brought about a gentle chastising from Mama and her and my older sisters laughing as they reflected on my childhood and adolescent habit. "I could recognise it by now, but he refused to teach me what any of it meant. "Where are your gloves?"
"I looked down at my hands."

On I continued through that interaction with my Roza. When I hadn't found an appropriate word to comfort my Rose regarding her insecurity over her looks I was asked what I'd wanted to tell her. Everyone wanted to know and I wanted my Roza to know. Even then she'd never simply been pretty, but she'd been beautiful. She always had been and always would be in my eyes. The others laughed and shook their head dramatically at her trying to stop falling in love with me when she was clearly already a goner.

I returned to reading. Covering the bitterness between Rose and her mom. They forgave and moved on. They'd already fixed that issue, apparently.

"When he finished cleaning my open wounds, he found a jar of salve and began rubbing it into the rough parts of my skin. I sort of got lost in the feel of his hands massaging mine."

She hadn't been the only one. The group laughed over how totally unprofessional this moment was. That was one of the most professional unprofessional moments by comparison.

I eventually restarted reading Rose's recount of that moment in our past. Mama didn't judge me on divulging the information I did. She said that Roza and I were already together by that point but we didn't realise it. So, she was fine with her daughter-in-law knowing. She didn't quite like the others knowing... Until, like my Roza's, their opinions on her way of life started changing. She wasn't about to apologise for choosing family, just like my Roza wasn't about to apologise for loving me.

Then the reading covered reflecting on the lounge. I told Rose just why I got upset about that. A gorgeous, lovesick look played on her melted face. She so readily showed her emotions on her face, but they never showed when she was hurt and didn't always reflect the way she was feeling unless with me. I was a different case. It was worrisome and meant I was in her bad books (the last place I wanted to be) if I was shown her Guardian Mask.

When it came to advising Rose not to cut her hair, and how I'd played with said silky loose curls, comments broke out. As did laughter. And "aww"s at my Roza's reaction. Apparently most of those in the room were hopeless romantics... Even Alberta. And they were mellowing out Rose's parents.

I finished the chapter with, "He moved toward the doorway, a small smile playing over his lips. "Wear it up."" After marking the page and returning the book to the coffee table, I pulled Roza into a kiss. My hands now completely shamelessly and guiltlessly played with and revelled in the feeling of her hair.

Lissa soon pulled Rose away to the kitchen. To prepare our dinner apparently.

Which was simple ham and or turkey sandwiches. And two massive bowls of fries to share.