Because Of You

Chapter 12

My mind register's it all and yet I'm tightening my grip on his shoulder as he sways us back and forth until he whispers into my ear, his words are slurred and I can tell that he's probably feeling the buzz of the alcohol that's coursing through me as well.

"So, what do you say?" He asks as he watches me place my chin on his shoulder and a shiver escapes through me. Stefan smiles against my cheek as he backs away from my ear and then our eyes lock and I can tell that he's leaving the decision up to me.

I remind myself of what I haven't told him yet. Of the secret that I hadn't mentioned about Katherine and the real reason why she had hid Lillian away from him, up until the night of the accident.

I shake my head as I lean into him, all I want to do is try to be responsible. But, the fact that I'm heavily intoxicated is clearly affecting my judgment when I lean into him and kiss his lips softly. I feel Stefan's hands grip me closer to him, almost molding our bodies together as he deepens the kiss and I'm left breathless.

We're left like that for a while, tongues battling against each other, our bodies holding each others like if we were to let go, we'd crumble without one another's hold. But, just as quickly as the kiss deepens even more and we're both breathing heavily, it ends and he smiles at me with a wide grin.

"If it were under different circumstances, you have no idea how much I'd love to take you up on your offer. But, I'm not going to be like them, I'm not a home wrecker, Stefan and it would make things really weird between us. So, Have a wonderful night Mr. Salvatore...I'll see you in the morning and thank you for the dance lesson." I reply as I let go of his body and nearly run out of the room, not wanting to look back.

When I reach the elevator my mind is spinning with his proposition and I suddenly feel sick all over again. The guilt of not telling him the real reason why Katherine hid Lillian away from him and the fact that she never told him that he even had a child with her..hits me hard as the doors begin to close and then I see a hand, stopping it from shutting all the way.

My eyes are glued to the floor as he steps into the elevator, he's almost out of breath when he says. "I know you're not them...You're not Rebekah and you're not Katherine. So, Elena...why couldn't we try this out?"

I look up at him, confusion written all over my face when I frown and then once again my eyes lock on him when I watch his hand slam the red stop button on the elevator. My voice is shaking and I don't realize it but, I'm still wearing his jacket from earlier in the night, when my hands graze over the fabric and I clear my throat to speak.

"Because, if we had one night together of hot passionate sex...all it would was meaningless and dishonest. We're both really drunk and...we'd regret it...probably forever." I tell him as he looks over at me and lets out a laugh.

"Ha...dishonest? How would two people sleeping together that obviously have a mutual attraction to one another be dishonest?" He asks me, catching a glimpse of me right before he closes his eyes and leans against the metal railing in the elevator that we're in.

I clear my throat and try my best to stop the slurring in my voice when I look over at him and say, "It would be dishonest..because, I haven't been fully honest with myself or with you." I tell him in a shameful tone as I look down at my black heels and then his confused voice brings me out of my trance that are on my own feet.

"What are you saying?" He asks, clearly sounding confused and a bit disappointed in me all at the same time.

My eyes lock with his intense gaze on me when he tilts his head to the side, waiting on the next big secret that I'm about to spill. In the moment before my mouth opens and words escape, I curse myself for being drunk and clearly not on my game. But, who knows when I would of just came out with it and told him all of this when I was sober, it probably would of never happened.

So when my mouth opens and words start to spill out, I can't seem to stop it. "She was cheating on you. My sister, Katherine was having an affair with another guy the whole time that she was with you and when she got pregnant, she hid it from both of you. So, that's why you both grew apart...that's why she didn't tell anyone about the who the father of the baby was because to be honest, she had no idea who it was herself!" The words are like knives being shot in each direction as I watch Stefan's posture change from calm and collected to betrayed and hurt by me and my own sister.

"What?" He asks me with a tone that makes me cringe and mentally want to smack myself for coming clean.

"I...I wasn't going to tell you. But, then the dancing and the close proximity of us and...and...your words to me. I just felt like if we had actually done something stupid tonight then, it would of sabotaged it all." I tell him, tears welling up in my own eyes as his look cuts me through my heart.

"It's already too late for that Elena. You knew this whole time that Katherine was hiding my own kid from me..I mean, even if she is mine now! I guess the DNA test will have to prove it. But, the point is that you're a lot more like your dead sister than you think that you are!" He exclaims as he leans over and presses the stop button on the elevator again, sending a jolt through the cabin of it and us moving to the third floor, back to our separate rooms.

"Stefan, I'm sorry. The night that Katherine died...before she died. She told me not to tell, I promised her that I wouldn't tell anyone." I try to explain as the elevator doors open and he frowns at me a bit with a tearful look in his eyes.

"You're playing with people's lives..Elena. I asked you why she didn't want anyone to know and you lied to me!" He yells at me as we both take steps out of the elevator and find ourselves in an empty hallway in the hotel.

"I'm sorry. What did you want me to do? I'm being honest and this guilt of lying has been killing me! I can't take it anymore, I know it's wrong and I should of told you...I know. But, I felt like maybe if I kept it from you. Then, we wouldn't be here right now." I try to justify what I had just confessed as I watch Stefan turn towards me, he looks over at me with a hateful glance.

"You should of been honest. You should of told me right from the beginning..maybe things would have been different." He says as I watch him walk away with tears in his green eyes, leaving me standing in the middle of the empty hallway all alone. Wishing that I would of just been honest and told him in the first place. Wishing that I wasn't so damn drunk right now and praying that maybe once the sun came up, that I could take it all back and blame it on the state of being intoxicated.