It has now been about 2 years since Michael abandoned me. I recently found out that he is now engaged and expecting a child next year. Most of this year hasnt been very good so far.
For the past 3 or 4 months the whole country has been under lockdown due to the Coronavirus or COVID19. Everyone is ordered to wear masks by law, and no one can go into stores or piblic places without masks.
Only now is it slowly starting to disipate. I was reading back through my last update to this story, and I have come to update everyone that reads the rest of this. I have accepted the fact that Michael, has long forgotten about me and has a new life, one of which I am no longer part of.
I do still miss him from time to time. Back then I had believed he was mine to love for the rest of my life. But God had other plans. As painful as it was to move on from him, I believe I have. I was finally able to read back through the pain he had caused me and i didnt become teary eyed, like I would have before.
Since he left, I had found someone else. I loved and still love him, even more than I loved Michael. Which I never thought was possible.
I believe, that I found my person. Although he told me one night that he no longer felt any intimate feelings towards me, and I shattered again, I cant get him out of my head.
He had gone many months without speaking to me although I had crossed his mind quite a few times. He and I finally got back in touch. I found out that he actually missed me, like I missed him. He told me that he misses my hugs, and he wants to become close again.
After all this time, I was finally able to say things and ask things that have been on replay in my mind since the night he told me he no longer had any intimate or romantic feelings towards me.
I told him that I'd been asking myself what I had done wrong or if there was anything I could have changed to help those feelings remain.
He simply told me this; " Not to be like that but it was literally me not u". Although it had been months since we had last spoken, it felt like we never stopped talking.
He told me that throughout the months that he hadnt spoken to me, he never stopped considering me a friend, and the reason he couldnt cut me off, was because I mean so much to him.
Eventually we started talking everyday again. The love I have had for him became even stringer, and the live he has for me returned 10 fold. All my life I have prayed for my future husband. Praying for his safety and his strength. Little did I know, God had so so much more planned for me.
It is now 2021, this year, I am able to start a new chapter wuth the love of my life. Ive been broken many times before. But the love that I have for him, has never gone away. If anything, the times that he didnt speak to me, only made the love in me grow stronger.
I now live with him, i wake up and go to sleep next to him every day. I love him and he loves me. Neither one of us can even begin to think about what would happen to us if one of us were victim to tragedy.
He is a hard working man, and he is more than I could have ever dreamed of. Believe it or not, we met in spanish class. That was where it all started. Looking back now, I would have never believed we would fall this deeply in love with each other.
To anyone reading this. Do not ever give up on finding your person. They are out there and they are waiting for you. Searching for you along this long and treacherous path we call life. Once they find you, or you find them, thank God for the blessing of a lifetime.
Everything happens for a reason. All the pain we have experienced in this life so far, are all part of God's plan for your life. Something I always try to say when I talk about the things I have experienced is this;
"Had I not gone through all the hard times and pain in my life. I wouldn't be who I am today."
When I say this, I look back over my life so far, and I can find the good things that came about only because of the bad things I have gone through.
Never be ashamed of your scars or your pain, your scars are just a reminder that whatever wanted to hurt you, lost, and you survived it. Where your scars like they are jewels. Every scar tells a story, every story is a part of who you are today.
If you have made it to here, I just want to say, thank you so so much for pushing through to the end.😌
May God bless you and all your family and friends with good health and good fortune.
