I literally find the concept of suicide for me funny, funny how I have to live for anyone else, how my only reason for surviving was to keep people from crying, probably only once.
Here's the thing, I never doubted that anyone would care, not that ignorant. I just don't c a r e . I poured my heart and soul into so so many people and things and it never worked, they got better and they left, I SAVED THEIR FREAKING LIVES AND THEY LEFT. I am s o tired of having people leave me, or staying and taking, taking, taking. But it's not always their fault, no, because I keep giving. I never learn, I'm not going to.
It's so annoying to have to eat and sleep and talk and do anything that's casual, because anything that was part of my normal routine, every single moment I'm conscious feels like my heart is being shattered into even more tinier pieces, I have anxiety attacks and mental breakdowns every second, I am t h i s close to going back to cutting, but noooooooooo, my depression isn't real, I'm faking it for attention!
God I'm such an attention hog, I mean honestly, if anyone else around them shed a single tear they'd come running, but when blood's dripping down my arms they turn their heads.
Fuck.
You.
sorry to anyone who had to read that, like I said in the description, please don't feel obligated to, I'm just writing my feelings, nothing important.
YOU ARE READING
Everyone takes and Finally I break
HorrorJust a series of vents, you probably won't understand any of them and they won't be entertaining.
