Your choices may not define you but they decide your future.
Thick drops of rain pestered my body with butterfly kisses and I laughed at the sensation of something innocent on my body. I have always believed that rain has to power to wash off all the negativity from life.
Since, the unfortunate day of my life, it was the first shower that I had witnessed.
"You should smile more, it suits you," Rudra whispered behind me.
I turned to look back and found him leaning on the balcony door. It has been 2 weeks since he has taken me in his protection and life has never been better. In these 2 weeks, I had seen a glimpse of the old Tammana, I had smiled peacefully without fear of waking up to a monster. I had eaten a full meal without the plate being snatched from table ruthlessly.
Slowly, my physical wounds were healing. I still remember the firstday Rudr saw my injuries, to say he was shocked would be an understatement. He was fuming with anger and his fist was clenched hard. Though, his eyes swarmed with numerous questions but his lips decided to mum.
I smiled at him and twirled around more in the rain.
"Ok! Now, you have played enough for the day, kid. Come out now and dry yourself, Shruti is waiting for you.", he winked at me.
I nodded in agreement and made my way to the bathroom.
In past few days, Shruti Di and I have become good friends. She was like an elder sister that I never had and craved for. We spent most of our time, binge watching web series, gossiping about her colleagues and drooling over sexy man on internet.
I entered the living room and found Shruti Di and Rudr engrossed in some serious discussion.
I stood on the door contemplating whether to disturb them or not when Rudr's eye fell on me.
"Hey! Come here, Tamanna. Shruti needs to talk something important to you. Meanwhile, I will make some coffee. Do you need one?
"No, Sir. Thank you.".
I had started addressing Rudr as Sir as a sign of respect. There was an age difference of 8 years between us and I wasn't comfortable in addressing him by his name.
The first time I had called him Sir, he looked around the house, searching the man whom I had addressed as Sir and when I told it's him, he fell on the sofa laughing.
He was a man who could find humour in very small thing.
I sat beside Di and she held my hand gently, "In a few days, we have to return to New York and since, you are better now, we were thinking..."
"Yes Di, I know that's it's time for me to go. Don't worry, I'll soon find a place to live", I interrupted her
I knew this day was coming sooner or later. Rudr and Shruti Di lived in New York. Rishi Bhai and Shruti Di were a well-known doctor. Rudr owned a clothing business and was peacefully settled in his life along with his 20 year old sister. They were in India to resolve some family matter.
Unknowingly, they have become a very important part of my life and I had started depending on them. But, they had their own life and I can't be a burden on them. Deep down I was afraid that the moment I would step in the real world, he would catch me again.
I shivered at the thought.
Di slapped my arm.
"Don't interrupt others you idiot. I wanted to say that we all want you to come with us to New York.", she shouted.
Sir peeked from the kitchen and screamed, "I told you."
"But Di."
"Angel, you just need to say yes and we'll arrange everything, your passport and all the legal procedures. I have contact shere, they can help. You can live with me and my sister and if you want, you can work for me. It will be a new beginning.", Sir kneeled down beside us.
I knew it was the perfect opportunity to leave my haunting past and sins behind and start a new life, away from the nightmares, from him. But, there was only a point to which my ego would allow me to accept their help. I knew, they would not take no so easily, hence, I requested for some time to think.
"Good. Now, go and wear this we are going out for dinner.", she handed me a bag.
I glared at her. I had told her many time that I don't want her to pamper me with gifts.
"Come on! Now you can't go to a dinner wearing Rudr's clothes, you'll look weird and I have a reputation to maintain.", she pushed me into the room.
I sighed. It was her anniversary and at least I could do this much for her.
She got me peach coloured top and black jeans. She knew I was not yet comfortable in dress.
"You look, human,". Was the compliment I received from Sir as soon as I entered the living room?
I blushed at his compliment. Yes, it was nothing grand. But, it has been ages since I have heard anything good about myself. I had been called slut, bitch, ugly, shameless, disappointment...
"Tamanna, where are you lost", Sir, waved his hand in front of him.
"Nothing.", I mumbled, blinking fast to control my tears.
He sighed. He knew the true meaning of my 'nothings'.
"Shruti had to leave early as Rishi needed her urgently at home. She will meet us directly at the restaurant. Go and watch TV while I get ready, then we will go together.", he ordered and left the room.
It was a tell-tale sign, that he was angry at me for still holding at my past. But, how could I explain to him, that my past, like a poison flowed in my veins.
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I know, very late update. I apologize was stuck in a project that didn't work out. I was planning, in fact am planning to create a website for my books, but unfortunately, it didn't work out as per my choice. Let's see what future hold. If you have any suggestion for it, please share.
