AND HER NAME WAS JULIANNA

FOUR

I cleaned my room for the fourth time this week. I couldn't figure out what exactly I was going to do.

"Yes, of course daddy, I have a big plan, but let's save it for dinner okay?" I smiled cheerfully at my father, he kissed my forehead again and smiled.

 I had basically lied to my father that I had a plan to bring down Marcus. There was no ideas I had on where to start. What was my head doing to me?

I jumped off my bed and put shorts and a sweatshirt over my white lingerie, the only thing that really gives me comfort with myself, don't ask why.

I went to my bathroom and tied up my hair in a bun and washed my face. I did my night skin routine and tried to put pieces of my plan together. I washed my face and untied my hair.  grabbed my comb- thats it!!

I would kill him in the house. In my room. It would be clean, we had all the equipment for cleaning blood and messes. I sat on the cover of my toilet.

I'm not exactly sure why my father wants us to kill our target, I begun to think because they get too close with us and we need to eliminate them before they do us. But i didnt see what killing Marcus would do for my father. He wanted to benefit, no? I was confused.

Why in the world was I even questioning my father? These types of things never happened.

I put the comb down, stood up and put both hands on the sink. I looked at myself in the mirror. My hazel eyes looked bright and lively, but if only we dug into what they'd seen, would we see the continuous horror movie? The dark circles under my eyes told me I was tired. My slight frown lines on my forehead were coming. Everything was clear before he died. I shook my head and sighed. I couldn't. 

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in." I got out of the bathroom and saw Giovanni getting comfortable on my bed. The smell of weed and depression followed him.

"I heard about today." He paused.

 "Gio-" he lifted his hand stopping me. Giovanni hated when I fought, especially when he wasn't there.

"You need to stop pushing yourself so much, it's not healthy. Just because dad can't see it, doesn't mean it don't exist." He looked at me, he was on the verge of breaking down. This always happened. I loved my big brother, but using weed to escape a reality you can't, seemed to make matters worse for him.

Giovanni was a sad smoker and got detached from the world and its fake promises. He never remembered what he said in the morning though. 

"Dad isn't God. He's not the final judge in life."

"Gio pleas-" I basically whimpered.

"I will be the presiding Alamante after dad dies. The business and legacy will all belong to me." That's what my father had told him last week. We all knew the day would come when all the unwanted stress and responsibility would go on my brothers shoulders. His worst fear wasn't handling the business. It was turning into my father.

I closed my eyes and tried not to cry but felt a tear come down on my cheek.

Giovanni sighed, he was crying now. We all secretly hated this life. None of us could ever and i mean ever tell our mother or father that. We wanted to be normal. We wanted to go on dates, have our first love, drive through the nights with friends. Make reckless mistakes. 

But we had been thrown into this violent and mature life as soon as we were born. All of us being too precocious for anyone to notice as typical teenagers.

I knelt below him, bringing his chin up and wiping his tears. So much for being the baby sister.

"We are Alamante, strong and brave. I know we'll be fine G, don't give up on me." I rose up and hugged him. He held me and we found solace in each other.