✓ DYING MOURNINGS, original

seventeen : a moment alone

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𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍 : 𝐀 𝐌𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐀𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐄

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He was closer to me than I expected. I felt his presence and I feared my heart rate would never go down, my hands even beginning to tremble. I could barely see anything in front of me as my eyes tried to adjust at how dark it was.

"Did I scare you?" he whispered.

I kept my back to him before I stammered, "Y-yeah, actually." No point in lying or pretending.

I didn't think we'd meet like this, to have him anywhere other than on the phone left me weak in the knees. If I were to spin around and try to search for him in the dark, I would have to strain my eyes to see him even slightly clear. I was blind with the lights off and I prayed he wasn't here to kill me or to kidnap me, to take me away to never be heard from again.

"I'm not here to hurt you," he said. Thank god. "I saw you come down."

"So you were watching me?" I smiled, resting a hand on the wall.

"Of course I was," he said back and I heard his feet against the ground and he was closer to me than before, his voice louder. "I'm always looking out for my biggest threats, but tell me...find anything fun while snooping?"

His voice sounded better in person. Everything was so much more personal with us alone like this, finally meeting face to face. Well, almost face to face at least. Face to back.

"Haven't found anything yet," I responded before asking, "Are you going to let me turn around?"

"And let you see me?" he laughed. "Not a chance."

"That hardly seems fair-"

"Better to keep my identity a secret, just for a little longer."

"I can barely even see it's so dark, just let me-" I started to turn and his hand grabbed me, gripping my arm. His skin was warm against mine and heat rushed to my cheeks and I was thankful he couldn't see the color that spread across my face.

"Don't," he snapped and I gasped as he kept me with my back facing him. "I don't want you to see me."

"But I can't even see-"

"Can't risk it."

His hand left my arm and I shifted my weight to one food to release some of the pressure in my feet as they began to ache. I could hear him breathing, like he was trying to steady himself as I was. I wanted to look at him, to see him so close to me but he was fearing the same thing I was at heart.

I'd recognize him. I'd recognize him from one of the photos on Cage's computer, or I'd be able to find out who he was because of his connections to the Morticianers. Either way, he knew how dangerous it would be for me to see him, how dangerous it could be for him too.

But I couldn't help thinking how bad this could end for me. How he could still hurt me, threaten me. Was he the predator and I the prey?

"You looked beautiful out there," he murmured suddenly and I brought my hands up to the wall to rest my forehead against as I shook my head. "You did."

A hollow laugh escaped my lips as I shook my head again.

"Your mother would be proud," he said gently. "She raised an elegant woman, someone who is so calm while in pain, graceful when hurting, stoic while smiling."