°• 𝙰𝙻𝙱𝚄𝙼 𝙰𝚁𝚃 •°[ 𝚣𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢 ]

Adore You 🌵 ( pt. 2 )

HARRY

It was much later now. A few people had already left, I was exhausted but it felt rude leaving my own party early. The crowd was getting to be too much at this point though and I wanted some air. Making my way to the balcony on the second floor I was more surprised than I should have been at seeing Zayn leaning on the balcony with his back towards me. He was alone, I had seen his friend getting quite comfortable with Niall a while ago, it was cute. After debating it for a second I joined him. " Are you sure you should be leaning on that as drunk as you are?" He half smiled, he had his eyes closed. He didn't seem surprised at me suddenly speaking, must have heard the door to the balcony and my footsteps. " It feels nice, nights like these make you believe that things you want really could be yours if you just long for them hard enough."

He spoke slowly, he didn't seem as giddy as he did when he was with his friend Naisargi against the bar a few hours ago. He was calm, he sounded content. This is the most easily I have ever heard him speak, it must be the combination of the alcohol and the zen state he seems to be in. What he says resonates with me though, if only everything I wanted would be mine if I only longed for them, I knew looking at him now that that kind of belief would come with a freedom I didn't have anymore. All of my decisions have repercussions, every move I make has consequences. Longing for something got me to where I am now but here on out sadly longing wasn't gonna cut it anymore. There are decisions I have to make and things and people I have to let go of, one of them being this man with beautiful eyes who's just turned to look at me. He directs his next question to me, " What is the one thing you long for? At this moment. Not career wise or like in a material sense of the word but if you weren't Harry Styles, one of the biggest artists in the world what is one thing you'd want for yourself at this moment." He sounded so profound that if his words weren't slightly slurred together and his iries a little more dilated than normal I would have doubted he'd had anything to drink at all. An answer to his question was ringing around in my head.

At some point during all of this he had turned to face me completely and we had moved closer together. The sounds of the party seemed so far away, all I was focused  on was his breathing, the foggy breaths that left his mouth because of the cold night was apparent as it hit my face and I answered more brave than I would have been without the knowledge that he would remember none of this the next morning, " You " before bringing my lips to his. He seemed to still at first considering he probably hadn't expected it but then he seemed to melt into it and put his arms around my neck. I put one of my hands on this jaw and the other on his waist, he tasted like alcohol which was no shock, it all seemed to fit, his hands on me, mine on him, our lips. This wasn't good. How right it all felt was really very far from good cause I couldn't do this to him.

I probably would have heard them coming if the only thing in my mind hadn't been Zayn's lips. But his friend's near scream of  "Zayn" right before she opened the door to the balcony was enough to make me let go of him but not move away completely, my body wouldn't allow that just yet. Naisargi and Niall walked in and I know it was obvious to them what we were doing. Niall had a shit eating grin on his face while Naisargi's expression was unreadable. She walked towards us and despite everything in my body protesting I moved away from Zayn. She took his hand and turned to me and said, " We'll be leaving now, thank you for the party Harry." Just as she was about to leave I put my hand on her upper arm stopping her, " Could you please not tell him about this? "
She looked pained for a second before turning towards me and saying, " The guy thinks whatever he feels is just his childhood obsession carrying over into his adulthood but I've known him long enough to know he is in love with you. I don't know what this was but something about it feels like it'll cause him pain so don't worry he won't hear any of it." With that she left after saying a soft goodbye to Niall.

It should have felt good to know that he maybe loved me but knowing that and being able to do nothing at all about it filled me with a sense of helplessness.