°• 𝙰𝙻𝙱𝚄𝙼 𝙰𝚁𝚃 •°[ 𝚣𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚢 ]

Can I be him? 🤡

ZAYN

I swear that every word you sing, you wrote them for me
Like it was a private show, I know you never saw me
When the lights come on and I'm on my own
Will you be there to sing it again?
Could I be the one you talk about in all your stories
Can I be him?

Well there was little else he could have done, Zayn knew dwelling on whatever the fuck had happened wasn't gonna do him any good so he got on with it. Went to work, got stuff done, went back home and went the fuck to bed. He didn't really remember if he'd eaten or when he'd properly had a meal the last time. He went through the motions of his day, he didn't know what he was working on anymore, he saw colours and letters, numbers and photographs but he never could quite remember what came of it. What came of any of it.

Naisargi and Joe had been trying to get through to him for weeks though Zayn was sure it had been longer, he wasn't really too sure about anything these days. He was sure though the Naisargi must have told his other friends about what had happened cause she was the only one he had told about Harry's confusing behavior but suddenly all his friends were calling multiple times a day checking up on him. He didn't really remember what they said, he was glad to hear their voices however.

And Harry, well Harry had left. He had two shows in L.A. one of which Zayn was supposed to go to but he didn't just cause he felt he wasn't welcome anymore.

Zayn knew he should have probably gone home sooner to clear his head but it took his friend buying them both tickets and shoving them in his hand and physically pulling him to the airport and into the flight for him to realize how much he needed the time off. He wasn't going to be going back to Bradford however cause his parents were actually out of town, he was going to his sister's at  London.

London did help him clear his head a little and having someone else make sure he did actually eat helped too. He felt a little bit of the fog lifting but really his head was still mush.

He had no idea what day of the week or even what month it was so it was pretty expected that he'd be surprised that Naisargi had decided that they were going to go for Harry's show that was on at the O2 the next day and suddenly the fog had lifted and he was horrified. There was no way he was going to go. That just wasn't about to happen. Although the chances of Harry actually spotting him in the crowd was actually pretty low which is why he thought it wouldn't hurt and if he was being honest to himself there is no telling Naisargi no really.

~ next evening ~

Zayn wouldn't say he had no feelings about the concert he was currently going to, he actually had a lot of feelings about it and all of them had been swirling around him all day and had now settled in a uncomfortable heap at the bottom of his stomach that made him want to throw up. They reached the O2 and Naisargi drove straight past the parking at the front entrance and parked at the employee parking at the back which confused Zayn's already befuddled mind, " Wait why are we parking here?"
" You have a pass that allows you backstage access idiot and we're making use of it."
Okay yeah now Zayn was definitely going to throw up.
" What?!?!?! No!!!! I can't do that. I might run into him."
Naisargi looked at him like he'd just asked her the stupidest question that even a second grader would know the answer to, " That's the whole point. "
He started struggling against her hand that was around his wrist trying to get away and for a second in his panicked brain an image of what this might have looked like to a stranger almost made him smile, her dragging him into the back of an arena, him struggling to get free all in an empty parking lot. If he were to go missing she'd have a whole court case in her hands, sadly for him however it didn't look like he was going missing and they were now inside. He walked a little more willingly now cause he didn't want to cause a scene and really where was he gonna go? They went through hallways and doors till at last they were standing in what looked to be the room Harry would be in right before he went on stage, it had a massive poster of him, a poster Zayn had worked on, water bottles, fruit cause obviously the man wanted fruit and people rushing about.