Why me? Why them?

Chapter 4 - James

Chicken is life...

Well, I wish it was.

Terrah makes the best Chicken strips.

That spider was scary, no terrifying.

Why am I thinking like this?

Did I take my medication? No, no I didn't, I haven't for ages...

Is the chicken still warm?

The air was kinda clear, with only the few car engines RUINING the perfect air, seriously? Why can't we use cars that don't produce that horrible crap! My face suddenly flushed, my eyes narrowing, I could feel my teeth gritting together, my eyebrows kitting together in a downwards fashion, my ears felt like they were on fire...

Fire...Ryan... I wonder how he is? I hope he can cope without me...

Suddenly, I felt tears pierce my eyelids clouding the already hard to see streets, my nose starting to heat up like the rest of my face, my eyebrows unknitting, and my lips start to wobble, how long has it been since the last time I saw him? When was the last time I saw my mother? My breath hitches. Rubbing my nose, I can suddenly feel the biting at my feet and legs causing huge shivers to run up and down my back.

I could feel my face scrunching up, my eyebrows knitting again, clenching and unclenching my fists. This was stupid, why didn't I fricken wear better clothing?

Donta and Terrah are right, I NEVER think. I never think ahead, I always end up hurting or doing something bad. And I bet Sharayah thinks I'm some sort of unstable freak that can only do things he's good at...

Why couldn't I be better? For them? For her? For mother?

Why do I even bother living like this?

No no, Terrah wouldn't want this. After all, she does try to make me take my medication...

And Shray has always been there for me.

And Donta let you play with his guitar!

Be a little bit more positive James, You're the happy guy! And your friends and family love you.

And just like that, I started to feel the rock that was forming in my heart lift. I have loyal and supporting friends and family. I shouldn't be thinking those crap things. Wait... did I really leave without asking Donta for a ride? FRICK!

I sighed, the mist forming in front of me swaying in the breeze, it was dark out and freezing, like every other winter, some of the old shriveled pine trees I was passing looked right at home right about now, and the grass around here was still green, it was possible that the people who lived in the huge houses behind golden gates wanted to look presentable and watered the grass as well as the rose bushes. Wait. Am I here already?

Well that was quick!

I quickly glance at the house numbers, now completely focusing on finding the right house, my mind was suddenly clear, my eye's suddenly could see every detail even in the dark, I could spot the slight movements in the grass, even a few ants that dared to climb the gold and pearl white gates, the wind had seemingly stopped blowing, the cold of the night barely noticeable, completely ignoring the fact that the houses around me looked like fricken five star hotels that are only for one or very few people. Then I spot the numbers 72 and freeze. The cold took the chance to slam into my bare legs, causing me to take a sudden gasp of clear air, my eyes grazed the only emerald gates in eyesight, rushing to press the gate buttons so I can get out of the cold. Again.