I promise (Phan)

Part 1

Phil's POV

Dan had been acting really strange lately, I was beginning to get really worried. It took him hours to get out of our bed in the morning, he wouldn't kiss me as much, let alone talk to me even.

Today, I'd had enough, deciding it was time to talk to him. I lifted myself off the couch in the lounge and walked to the room, finding him sitting on the side of the bed.

"Hey, Dan-" I tried, walking over to sit down next to him. When I tried to take his hand, he stood up and walked away and I have to say, it hurt.

"I'm getting in the shower." He mumbled, leaving the room. I sighed loudly and flopped back on the bed. What if he's grown out of me? What if he doesn't love me anymore?

What if he's cheating on me?

No. No, I refused to let my thoughts make the better of me. I got up reluctantly, missing the warmth of the covers that had been under me.

I made my way to the bathroom, not caring of he'd already entered the shower. I mean, its not like I hadn't seen him naked before. However, as I got nearer to the bathroom, I not only heard the sound of running water, but also quiet sobs.

I let out a little gasp as I slowly crept nearer to the locked door, the sobs drowned out by the sound of the water. But I knew them when I heard them. I had experienced Dan crying around me a lot in 2009, and I knew that when he was sad he would...

"No." I whispered to myself. He wouldn't, would he? I helped him get over it. He wouldn't start again. My eyes started to burn as I knocked on the door. "D-Dan?" I asked through the door.

"Go away." He shouted back.

"Dan, what're you doing?" I asked, ignoring him.

"Having a shower, what do you think?!" He genuinely sounded annoyed now but it didn't stop me.

"I won't let you do anything. I won't." I felt a small tear run down my face, swiftly wiping it away.

Silence.

"Just go away, Phil." He spoke after a moment of silence.

"No-"

"Go away!" At that moment, I heard the clatter of something familiar. A blade. I slowly backed away from the door, shaking my head.

I quickly ran to the kitchen, having flashbacks from 2009. I had been too late then. I won't let that happen again. Quickly grabbing a teaspoon from the drawer and ran back to the bathroom door.

Ramming the spoon into the slit on the doorknob, I successfully unlocked the door after stumbling a bit from shaking. I dropped the spoon and flung the door open.

I'd been right. The picture I walked into was definitely something I never wanted to see again. Dan stood in the middle of the room, his left arm raised with a blade hovering over his wrist. He was about to do it.

I lunged at him, snatching the blade out of his hand and pulled him into a tight hug. It all happened so fast, adrenaline pumping through my bloodstream.

Both of us crying, we hugged for a long time, I had no idea how long we had stayed in this position, but I still had no intention of letting him go. Taking our height difference as an advantage, I buried my head into his shoulder, tracing random shapes onto his back.

"I'm sorry, Phil." He sobbed out. Then it all clicked, the ignoring me, the distance he kept between us. He didn't want me to know. And I turned it onto myself. Finally, I let him go, cradling his face in my hands.

"Hey, Its ok, I mean... This isn't ok but I love you. So much. And nothing will ever change that." I caressed his cheek, wiping away a tear before leaning in to kiss him. It was soft, and didn't last very long, but it meant the world. To both of us. "You should have told me." I said when the kiss ended.

"I was afraid." He mumbled, looking to the ground.

"Of what?" I snaked my arms around his waist and brought my hands up to the back of his shoulders, leaning my head on his chest.

"I don't know, I- I thought you would l-leave me." He stuttered. And that was it, the sentence that shattered my heart into a million pieces. I pulled him closer, my eyes glistening with tears.

"Dan, why would you think that? We've gotten through this before. And we'll get through it again. I will never, ever leave you. I promise." I felt him kiss the top of my head lightly,

"Thank you, Phil." I heard him sniff and I pulled away from him, giving him a heartwarming smile.

"Now we better turn this shower off, eh?" I chuckled, making him smile, the gorgeous sight I hadn't seen in weeks.

***

After calming Dan down and getting rid of the blade, we were tucked into bed, this time his head was on my chest.

"Good night Dan, love you." I said, drifting off to sleep.

"Thank you Phil." I felt him relax into my body more.

"For what, Bear?" My eyes snapping open.

"Saving me." He took one of my hands in his. I chuckled at this,

"Dan, I hardly saved you-"

"Not just for today, just generally. If it wasn't for you, I probably wouldn't be here today." He lifted his head off my chest and brought our lips together. "I love you too." He smiled and lay back down.

He fell asleep shortly after that. Or at least, I thought he was asleep. Just before falling asleep myself, I mumbled,

"I'll help you Dan. I'll help you through this. I promise."