Chaotic

Monster

Everybody watched as you stabbed Hisoka in the chest. They didn't really think you would do that. Machi comes up to you grabs you by the shirt, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" "I only did what was supposed to be done.""He was basically on that little boys side. He is a traitor. Are you an idiot?" You say pushing her away from you. Machi starts to cry, "I liked him." Everybody's eyes grew wide,even yours. Machi goes by Hisoka and crys on his chest. "WHY DID YOU DO THIS. ILL KILL YOU NASHI. I WILL KILL YOU." "You're an idiot just like him. You think you are going to do something to me. Im stronger than you. Hisoka was betraying you and us. You need to accept that." You say going to sit back on the rock. You sense something grab you, so you use geo. You see some type of thread made out of nen. You rip it off. "Machi quit." Chrollo says. You ball up your fist trying not to punch her across the room. You start breathing slowly but very harshly. "EVERYBODY BACK AWAY FROM NASHI!" Chrollo screams. Good thing he did that because right after he said that. The whole entire building shook and all your nen was coming from your body. You were screaming so loud everybody was shocked. They were all hiding behind rocks. You fell on your knees with your fists still balled. "Im always the bad one." You say quietly crying. "Im always the one killing, i can never keep calm." "IM A MONSTER." You scream. Chrollo walks over to you and hugs you, "Everything will be okay,Nashi." "I shouldn't be here, I killed one of your members." You say looking down. You then get up then disappear. Everybody starts to look around looking for you. When you're far away from the hideout you start to walk. You start to cry. "I can't control myself." I'll end up killing everybody in the phantom troupe. When you get home you go to your room still crying. You sit right in front of your bed and cry. You then feel Chrollo's presence get close. You jump in bed and hide under the covers,even though he knows where you are. "Nashi,you aren't a monster. Hisoka was a traitor anyway. Machi just didn't know how to cope with his death. You did what was gonna be done any time now. Listen I love you. You're one of my bestfriends. You're pretty much my sister. I wont let you think you're a monster. You may think you are but you're not." He says while sitting on the edge of your bed. You then feel someone lay down in your bed and hug you. You turn around and see Chrollo. "Listen im just trying to help you because you're sad alright? Nothing more" He says. You laugh then turn back around. After a couple of minutes you fall asleep. You wake up randomly in the night. You check your phone noticing its 4am. Chrollo asleep next to you. You decide to get up and do something for Chrollo before he wakes up. Since Chrollo loved breakfast as a child you decided to make a big breakfast for him since he did so much for you. It took you atleast 3 hours to finish everything. Once you were done you heard your bedroom door open. You see Chrollo walk out the room rubbing his head. "Whats that smell?" He says. Before i could even answer he saw the table and all the food and he already started to dig in. "D-did you d-do this?" He said while stuffing his face with food. "Yes i did. I wanted to do something for you since your comforted me." You say while cleaning up the kitchen. "Thank you." He says smiling. "Its really no problem." You say waving your hands in front of your face. You then head back to your room and get a book out from your desk. After a little while Chrollo comes in and says, "Im gonna go back home now. You wanna come?" You then look down, "I don't think i should." "Thats okay ill be back later to check on you." He says while leaving the room. You then start to cry. You've been faking a smile all day. You thought to yourself, Im not a good person. I know im not a good person. I killed Machi's love. I killed three perfectly good friends. What is wrong with me. I should never go back to the phantom troupe. You hide under your blankets for a while. You then look outside and notice it started to rain. Its around 9pm. You head outside in your hoodie and sweats. You start to walk up a mountain. After a little while of walking you notice the rain starting to get heavier. You're walking pretty slowly. You stop walking once you see a bridge. This bridge reminds you of the times you and Chrollo would spend here. You both would always come here and make wishes whenever there would be a rainbow out. Yall would play tag in the woods right beside the bridge. After all those memories rushed over you. You thought, I dont wanna live anymore. I don't wanna be alive. I should just die. Nobody likes me anymore. Im a monster. Ive killed so many innocent people. I can't control myself. Im too powerful. Maybe if i just killed myself i would make things easier on myself. You walk towards the bridge slowly. You start to climb to the top of it. When you get to the top you remember Chrollo, all the memories yall had. You start to remember Feitan. The way you love him. You think to yourself, They don't really love me. Im such a monster. Why would anybody love a monster like me? Im such a disgrace to this world. You jump off the bridge looking down at the ground. You feel the air rush through your body. Suddenly things start to feel like they're going in slow motion. You turn your body looking at the beautiful moon and feeling the cold rain drops hit your face. Right before you hit the ground something happens.