Random Dreams I Have

What Took You So Long?

       The words flew out of his mouth, too anxious to know the answer. There was a moment before the words registered, before anyone made a move. He grew more anxious by the second hating himself for even bringing it up.
      Her face fell as she realized what his words meant. She turned away from him and looked down to the ground.
       The small smile slowly vanished off his face and his brows furrowed. Before she turned he could see the look in her eyes, like she’s heard the same thing before. This was all too swift, the moments all too familiar. Had he said it before? He stepped forward and reached out to grab her arm, like she knew he would.
     Before he could reach her she hugged her arms to her chest and started to walk away, never turning back to look at him.
    His mind raced, what did it all mean? His hands went to his hair as he roughly pulled the strands in different directions. Shaping his hair into a messy craze. Then in a moment everything went still and the air left his lungs. He was sure now. How could he be so blind? So stupid. His arms fell to his side leaving his hair in a disheveled mess, but he didn’t care. Each step she took away from him resonated in his chest. He had said it many times before. How many? He wasn’t sure anymore. When was the first time he said it? What was her reaction? The whole time he worked up the courage, she already knew. All those days and she already knew. The daily panic attacks, the long anxious nights…
               She already knew…
     His world was collapsing by the second. His chest felt like a void as his lungs gave up on breathing. How many times had she done this to him? How many nights has he suffered? As he looked towards her retreating form, a part of him knew he had a choice. The same choice that greeted him every time. To leave the pain and suffering and lose her, or follow her and the pain she inflicts. To forget everything… He had made the same choice several times before. Does he take it again? Does he forget again? The pull in his chest made him take small steps towards her. Something deep within him told him that he needed her. His mind screamed to turn and run from all the emotional pain she causes him. To leave it all behind and to start anew. She was almost gone, but her steps were slower. He never took this long. The corners of his eyes stung as his chest tightened...he was trapped by his own heart. The tears fell freely from his eyes. There was only one choice.
…
       She stopped after a while. She never made it this far before. Something in her gut thought this was all wrong. She felt as if she was abusing him. She knew full well how easy it was for him to forget anything and everything, but she thought that him forgetting was easier than rejecting him. As if never remembering was better than never knowing. What she didn’t know...was he already knew. How her actions spoke louder than words ever could. As doubt swirled in her mind, a pain erupted in her chest. The corners of her eyes stung. Had she been wrong this whole time? She closed her eyes as her head fell towards the ground, tears falling down her cheeks. The sound of footsteps made her head jolt up. She turned around to see him. She could see the redness in his eyes and the faint dampness on his cheeks, he had been crying. He finally ran all the way to meet up with her stopping as soon as he caught up...he was smiling. The happiness on his face faded as he saw the tears freely falling from her shocked face,
“Why are you crying?”

       She snapped out of it, pushing all her bad thoughts away. Choosing to forget the dampness of his cheeks, the redness of his eyes, and the strain in his voice. She closed her eyes and shook her head. Wiping the tears clear of face she looked back at him with a smile,

“It’s nothing. What took you so long?”