Admit It

Chapter 3

It's been just over a week since I met Tyler for the first time. We've been texting nonstop since our first date, and I haven't checked Tinder at all.

I do feel guilty that I've fallen back into my older ways though. My once abandoned YouTube account with a saved playlist of men and women eating and burping was revisited only a day after our date, and I regretfully feel the urge to open it up a few times a day, using the content to cure my horniness by closing my eyes and imagining various scenarios where the person in the video is Tyler.

After another YouTube binge, I zip up my jeans and make myself presentable, reaching over to check my phone and see a new text from Tyler.

Tyler: wanna hang out again soon?

Jackson: yeah I'd love to! what should we do this time?

My heart pounds when the typing bubble pops up, realizing how much I've geared myself up for our next date.

Tyler: id like getting something to eat again, wanna go somewhere or should i come to yours?

I bite my lip. My immediate response is to jump on the opportunity and say yes, but I take a minute to weigh my options. Would I be able to keep myself calm and not give away my thoughts? My anxiety spikes, but ultimately my lust wins out.

Jackson: my place sounds great! you free tonight or tomorrow night?

Tyler: i got plans tomorrow, if tonights not too soon i can get there for 6:30?

I almost jump up, checking the time. 1:07pm. Cutting it close, but that gives me enough time to run to the grocery store and cook something nice for dinner. I quickly reply and rush to put my shoes on.

Jackson: 6:30 sounds great! I'll have dinner ready

Grabbing my keys and reusable bags at the door, I check my phone one last time before shoving it in my pocket and see a response from Tyler already.

Tyler: cant wait, ill bring my appetite ;)

I bite my lip and take a deep breath before walking out the door, speed walking to the store and mentally planning a multi-course meal to prepare.

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I heave bags full of groceries up the stairs in front of my door, then up the staircase just inside the door. I drop the bags at the top and wipe my forehead with my arm, beads of sweat from carrying such a big load the few blocks from the store.

The clock on my stove reads 2:53pm. I quickly empty all the bags and set up the ingredients in piles for the course they'll be used in.

I pull up recipes on my laptop and decide to start with dessert first: fudge brownies topped with a layer of cookie dough. Fifteen minutes and they're in the oven. Moving on to the lasagna. I bought all the ingredients to make it vegetarian, and regret it already. I google ways to add calories to vegetarian meals, and decide to just add peanut butter to the cookie dough for the brownies to add more calories there.

Shaking my head out of the thought track its on, take the brownies out of the oven to cool and carefully layer the lasagna noodles and filling, adding much more cheese than I usually would and setting it in to bake.

I check the time and see time got away from me and it's already 5:12pm by the time the lasagna is out of the oven and the cookie dough is spread over the brownies, in the fridge to chill and set. Rushing, I chop the lettuce for a creamy caesar salad as an appetizer, leaving the dressing to add last right before we eat.

Tidying my flat eats up another half hour of my time and I quickly shower, deciding not to jerk off even though I'm sure I'll regret it later when I inevitably get more worked up than I want to be when Tyler arrives. I dress in the same clothes as the first date before realizing my mistake and swapping my black skinny jeans out for slim cut maroon jeans, and put on a thin grey long sleeve shirt, scrunching the sleeves up to my elbows.

I just start fiddling with my hair when my phone chimes with a text from Tyler, letting me know he's on the bus almost at the stop near my place. I abandon the bathroom mirror, hoping my stubble isn't too scruffy and noticeable without a trim, and put the lasagna back in the oven to heat, adding dressing to the salad and tossing it hastily.

A few minutes pass and at 6:27pm I hear a knock at my front door. I run down the stairs to my front door and take a deep breath, straightening my shirt before opening the door. A smile immediately spreads across my face.

Tyler's wearing a tight black button up shirt that hugs his thin shoulders and slightly protruding stomach, tucked into white skinny jeans held on with a belt. He shows me his hands, each holding something.

"I didn't know if you were a beer or wine guy, so I brought both," he says with a grin, showing a bottle of Inniskillen white wine and a six pack of Ricards Red beer.

I chuckle. "I like both, good choices," I reply, moving to the side to invite him in. He kicks off his shoes and I take the bottle of wine, leading him up the stairs and putting the wine in the fridge to chill.

Tyler inhales and sighs. "Whatever you've made smells delicious," he breathes, eyes as big as saucers, clearly excited for the meal.

"Take a seat," I offer, pulling out a chair for him in front of a nicely set table. "Beer or wine?"

"Both," he says with a cheeky grin, grabbing a beer and cracking it open for himself. I laugh and get wine glasses, filling each with some plastic ice cubes to chill it, and getting a beer for myself.

"I've got caesar salad, veggie lasagna, and brownies for dessert, I hope you're hungry."

"Starving," Tyler replies with a groan, and I feel my cheeks flush already, trying not to fantasize about how the meal will go.