Admit It

Chapter 10

I stayed the night at Tyler's place, lying on the couch all night spooning him, and reluctantly left in the morning because I had to get home and get ready for work.

I thought we were texting nonstop before, but I was wrong. Now I have trouble putting my phone down, even at work I get tempted to check constantly. I feel embarrassed that Tyler knows about my....unique interests now, but he doesn't seem judgemental at all. In fact, he's thrown himself into it without hesitation.

Now Tyler will occasionally send me texts throughout the day about what he had to eat, complaining about how full he feels or talking about how he's still hungry and could eat more. He does it in a way that makes me know he knows it turns me on. Sometimes when we're extra flirty he'll send a photo that makes me lightheaded and unbelievably hard.

We haven't seen each other again in person just because of our schedules, but almost every night we facetime before going to bed. I haven't dropped the L word yet, but I've come close some nights when we say goodnight and are about to hang up. Watching him lie in bed shirtless, sometimes trailing his fingers over his belly if he decides to tease me after eating dinner, and just talking about our lives feels like the most important thing in the world.

Tonight I've decided to have the official talk with him about being exclusive, which feels like a silly thing to do but I can't bear the thought of him getting close to someone else the way he is with me.

I make myself dinner (nothing special, just pasta with broccoli and garlic sauce) and sit in front of the television, binge watching a TV show while texting Tyler occasionally until he's done work. My leg keeps tapping impatiently, feeling anxiety about having this talk even though I can't imagine it going poorly.

Finally at 10:32pm I get the text I've been waiting for.

Tyler: heading to bed soon, call in 10?

I take a deep breath and flick the TV off before replying.

Jackson: sounds good, talk to you soon <3

I stand to brush my teeth and get changed out of my daytime clothes and into just a pair of loose boxers to sleep in. I check and Tyler's replied again.

Tyler: ready when you are ;)

My chest tightens with anxiety, but I push it away as best I can and lay down in bed, holding the phone up over my head while laying on my back and press the call button, listening to the ring.

Tyler's face pops up on the screen and I break into a smile immediately.

"Hey baby," he says with a grin, his green eyes scrunching at the corners.

"Hiya," I reply, and he sighs contentedly.

"Work today was so boring, I just wished they'd let me go home early so I wouldn't have to keep sneaking my phone out."

"Me too, but don't get in trouble," I warn, remembering the warning one of my supervisors gave earlier today about having my phone out so much, but with a knowing smile that showed she wasn't all that bothered by it.

"I won't, just missed you," Tyler replies, biting his lip and looking directly into the phone screen, and I feel my anxiety well up again.

"Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about that," I say carefully.

He raises his eyebrows in a way to show he's listening, and shuffles on the bed a little, laying on his side where I can see his thin chest that's gotten slightly more padded since our first date.

"I just....I've been thinking a lot, and I wanted to just talk to you about us."

"What about us?" Tyler asks, a look of worry washing over his face for a moment, and I quickly start talking again.

"No, not like that, it's just..." I pause and feel heat rising in my cheeks, embarrassed. "Do..do you want to be my boyfriend? Like officially?"

The moment of silence seems to last forever before Tyler laughs loudly. "I kinda thought we were already there," he replies.

I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding. "I mean, kind of, but I - I'm not seeing anyone else, and just wanted to know if you weren't too."

"I'm not," Tyler says quickly. "And for the record, I've told my coworkers that you're my boyfriend already, so I'm glad you actually are now."

My cheeks burn and I can't stop smiling. "I'll start letting my coworkers call you my boyfriend too."

"It's settled then, I'll change your name to 'boyfriend' as soon as we hang up," he grins.

"Shut up," I laugh, feeling all the anxiety ebb away and enjoying the conversation as we normally do.

Tyler meets my eyes and pauses for a moment, stretching and rolling onto his back. "We need to see each other soon."

"Yeah," I agree, rolling onto my side and resting my phone against my lamp, looking into it and tracing my eyes over Tyler's arms, chest and shoulders longingly.

He catches the look in my eye and smirks. "Maybe I can stop by your work sometime and say hi, let your coworkers meet your new boyfriend."

I smile brightly. "I think they'd like that, but I also want to see you alone," I admit.

"Oh me too," he says, groaning a little and running his hand down his chest towards his stomach until I can't see it. "It's been a while."

My heart leaps to my throat. "When are you free?"

He laughs, and I realize how quickly I asked. "I have tomorrow and Friday off, either work for you?"

I move my hand down to cup my boxers, willing myself to calm down. "I have Friday off too, want to go out somewhere on another proper date?"

Tyler smiles and looks like he has the same giddy excitement I've felt, and it makes me feel better about being that way. "If you insist."

He yawns, and I check the time. "I work in the morning, so I should probably get to sleep."

"Yeah, me too," he replies, stretching and turning his light out. "Talk to you tomorrow."

"Goodnight," I say, turning my own light off, my thumb hovering over the button to hang up while I hesitate. "I....I love you."

Tyler looks sleepily at the phone and grins. "I love you too, Jackson."