Mutual Attraction

Chap 28

The walk to the coffee shop was brisk but refreshing. The cool winter air blowing through my damp hair woke me up and brought an sense of awareness of self that I had lost in the last day or two. With each step, a new sense of grounding came along with the sweet relief of being able to fully breath again. I snuck a glance over towards Kat and smiled slightly, I forgot, he hates the cold. You could see the obvious tension from his forehead all the way down to each strained step forwards, his hands were shoved deep into the pockets of his winter coat and his scarf was wrapped tight. I gently looped my arm in his and snuggled closer, hopefully depositing a bit of my warmth to him, his facial features softening and a hint of a smirk lingering. We finally reach the front doors and quickly dip in out of the cold.

"God it's fucking cold!" he shouted causing me to giggle and several of the patrons to turn our direction. "What are you looking at?!" Kat spat back at their lingering eyes, "I think they're looking at you, hehe, granted so am I..." his smirk grew at my words and as he removed his scarf revealing his straight and chiseled jaw line causing my cheeks reddened, "Come on, let's get you something to drink."

I forget why I don't come here more often other than my lingering bank account but it's just so peaceful here. My nose tingles from the cinnamon and nutmeg sprinkled over my hot chai causing me to smile up at the boy on the cushion across from me, his grumpy expression looking out the window next to us at the blowing wind. "Thanks for taking me here Kat and thanks again for the chai." His eyebrows raise slightly as he turns towards me again, "No problem, I just hope they fucking ground my beans right..." his sour expression returned at the thought of it to which made me laugh again, pulling him back to the present.

"So cheeks... about last night-" "I'm really sorry Bakugou, it won't happen again!" Squeeze my eyes shut will hopefully shield me from the lecture I was surely about to recieve, "What! No that's not what I fu- ugh, no you don't need to fucking apologize for everything, especially shit you can't control! I just wanted to see if you wanted to talk about it or, whatever..." the scowl returned, his shoulders straightened slightly, "S-so you're n-not mad?" peeking up at him he gave me the signature 'what the fuck' face, "Of course I'm not mad! You had a fucking panic attack, why would I be mad?" "Well because I woke you up super late-" "I was already up..." "a-and I was a weeping mess in your r-room-" "panic attack..." "b-but I didn't even explain myself!" I was trying desperately to help him see that I was at fault for this situation but he just blankly stared at me with his arms crossed across his chest, he wasn't going to budge.

The blond across from me sigh and uncrossed his arms to put his hands around his warm coffee cup, "Look cheek, uh, listen... I know what it's like to have a panic attacks... I, uh, started getting them after the whole kidnapping bullshit and I can tell you that it fucking sucks and it feels like you're gonna explode any second and it's so fucking hard to breath and your head's flying faster than the speed of fucking light and it's so fucking scary to go through that shit alone..." "...yeah..." he stared intently at the bubbles in his coffee for a moment then sighed as he looked at me with tired scarlet eyes, one hand reached forward slightly to hold onto mine, his thumb sliding under the edge of my sweater sleeve, lightly going over a few of the marks I put there yesterday. "I don't know everything you're going through but you can tell me whatever. I'm not a fucking shrink but I'm also not gonna fucking tell anybody shit if you don't want me to."

Processing his words, I watch the cinnamon swirl in the froth of my chai and ponder everything I should say... as I nod in understanding, a memory pops up again and reminds me of why I actually ended up at his door, looking up with a stern look I ask directly, "Why did you write what you did in my notebook?" his eyes widened and body tensed up by getting caught, then his face fell into resolve, his jaw set again as he looked straight into my eyes, "Because it fucking needed to be said Ochako, what the fuck even is that thing?" now it was my turn to tense up, "I-I w-well, you s-see-" "Like, how many of those fucking, what, 'hatebook' fucking things do you have? why the fuck can't your stupid fucking parents see that you need help!" "lower your voice!" I whisper yell at him while looking around to make sure no one is listening in on our conversation.

My tone is low but serious, "Look. I know its stupid but sometimes I get confused with all the thoughts in my head and I need to write it all down so it doesn't suffocate me in my sleep. Sorry to surprise you but I'm an anxious nervous wreck who hates herself and is just trying to do something to limp herself along so I can get a job and make some money and take care of my parents like they couldn't take care of me!" I gasp at the last thing I said and try to pull it back in, "Wait no! That's not what I mea-" "It's ok Ocha, it's fine to be pissed at your parents..." his toned pulled back down, contemplation happening behind his eyes. "Katsuki, my parents work really hard and are actually really good people, I was just getting defensive and they do take care of me but they're super busy with work so I can go to this school and actually be able to eat. They have a lot on their plate and on top of all that they also lost a son, it's not all about me." 

There was silence from both of us as we sat across the great divide of table listening to the hustle and bustle of patrons and coffee grinders. I took a deep breath and re-centered my mind, "I'm sorry Kat for getting so defensive over all this... It's just, I-I've never told anyone this stuff and I know that what I'm doing isn't necessarily healthy but it gets me by for now... Kat you're so strong but I don't want to drag you down or hold you back from your goals just cause I can't keep it together, so I guess I understand if you don't want to be with me and you know..." We fell into tense silence again.

"You're wrong." I glance up at him, his tense gaze was focused outside again, "Kat?" His piercing red eyes found mine, "You're wrong Ochako. I'm not as strong as you think I am but you're also not as fucking messed up as you think you are. And you'd be insulting me if you think I'm gonna ditch your ass just because you needed my help." Bakugou shifted to the window again and I took in his words. So he doesn't want to break up with me? Am I just over reacting again? But he doesn't mind. He even offered do it again, multiple times. Am I being so selfish thinking only about how much of a burden I am on him and not actually asking him directly? But then again he keeps telling me I should stick up for myself more. He knew exactly what to do when I was freaking out and how to calm me down, is that cause he's been through that before? 

"So... just to clarify?" he side eyed me, left eyebrow lifting in question, "You aren't mad at me, you don't want to break up with me?" that pretty smirk finally returned, "Glad to see you're all caught up cheeks." I giggle and take another sip of chai, finishing it off and setting my mug down, "Well I'm glad we got that all cleared up!" the blond in front of me stares at my smile then stares into my eyes his eyebrows scrunching slightly, "Will you promisse you'll come to me when you get upset again?" my widened eyes stared back, I swallow but firmly nod, agreeing not only to him but to myself. "And whenever you feel like hurting yourself or writing in that book, you'll come to me first." now my brows are scrunched, my lips tight, am I willing to give that up too? What if I need it? I nod again. His perfect soft smile returns, "Good. Now can I please kick your ass in some midnight run?" That got me to laugh out loud, man what a guy.

As we walk back to the dorms still in the cold but slightly warmer as we walk closer something was circling in the back of my mind that I still needed to ask for sake of closure.

"Hey Kat?" "Hmm?" 

Stopping on the steps of the dorms I run up a step in front of the bundled up blond and look down at him, his gaze intensely focused on mine, "Will you go to the dance with me?" That smile of his that seems as if he only shows to me grows across his face, his cocky disposition returning, and his arms crossed across his chest, "Sure. Why the fuck not?!" 

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Another day, another chapter! Welcome to another Kacchako week upload! I have been absolutely LOVING all the Kacchako week fanart happening over on instagram! Ugg! My heart! Love you guys, have a great night/morning/day or whenever you're reading this :) A