Memento

1

I yearn to stay even in the darkest corners of your mind ~

I long to live at the core of who you are ~

sgd. Son Seungwan. 7/15/2014

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WHEREFORE, the petition is DENIED. The Decision and the Omnibus Resolution of the Court of Appeals in CA-GR SP No. XXXX are hereby affirmed. Deleting the grant of limited and temporary custody for lack of legal and factual basis.

The lower courts are ordered to implement the decision at once.

Final and executory.

SO ORDERED.

Imagine being able to remember everything vividly, all the colors and hues, the numbers and statistics, the feelings and the memories, the sights and sounds, expertly stored in a huge, spacious, well organized vault. Quite a nice perk for this hard knock life isn't it?

Imagine almost breezing the hell out of law school, aceing every recitation, memorizing every article and provision like it's as simple as ABC. Every examination almost feels like an autobiography, like you've known every hypothetical situation in those stupid little blue booklets, as if you've lived through it. It's as if you're composing a song, the lyric and rhythm flowing out naturally, your voice and its melody instantly meshing, with ease, without breaking a sweat.

Imagine. Imagine.

I realised I was never fond of imagining because everything was clear cut for me ever since.

As if everything is handed to me on a silver platter, and I took it, ate on it and made it gold. I live in the moment. Everything should be treasured because it might be taken away the very next day.

"Imagine being humble, Wendy." I remember Joy snickering at me, scrunching her nose and rolling her eyes.

What? Excuse me while I vent out to you, my dear friend? Where did our friendship go?

I remember telling her this exact phrase for my little attempt of a clapback: "please would you let me finish Joy. My journal isn't here with me, so please be a darling and listen."

"Kaaay go on.." she said coupled with one hell of a sarcastic sigh.

Joy this sneery tall devil.

I know I sound so disgustingly arrogant right now. I was trying to soften the blow.

I remember reminding myself why I stopped being a skeptic of this gift and that there's always pros and cons..

So, I broke the news to her. There's no point of beating around the bush.

"I lost the case Joy. My first time in years. We've been lawyers for what, 6 years? I think I lost the most important one. I promised her I'd win, especially this one. Now, I kind of regret having to live with this weird brain, it's not like I'm not used to losing, it's part of the game. We win some, we lose some.

It's just that.. I am not ready to go through the process of letting her know, I don't think I'll ever be ready, to see how devastating it would be, as if I can almost see the life in her eyes leave the moment she remembers, to have my head play it over and over again as I drown in her muffled cries; feeling the pain twice as much. I can almost feel my heart shrink into nothingness. My soul leaving my core.

"I just can't afford to lose any more than I already have Joy."

" Oh Wannie.."