My Third Cycle

10. Finding Ola

The sweet smell of frying plantain wafting through the air hit me once I left the library, I made for the kitchen, certain I'd find my mom there. The rosy tinge of twilight streamed in through the glass partition walls, giving the unlit corridor a sombre ambiance.

As expected, I found her behind the stove, forking fried plantains from the oil into a plate. My echoing footfalls on the veined marble floor drew her attention to my arrival. She turned, brow's raised.

"Hey habibi!" she said, emptying her hands and rushing over to me, her long legs quickly eating up the space between us.  "you're finally out, I've been so worried." She said, enveloping me in a hug.

"I'm fine uwa." I responded, reveling in her familiar scent and warmth.

"You sure? What have you been doing up there for so long? Is the journal your uncle left for you? Is that what's been keeping you away? What's in it?" She asked as she withdrew, but she looked like she already knew.

"No uwa, I just needed some time alone"

"Sometime alone? But maggi's in there, isn't she?" She asked teasingly, pulling away and rushing over to fry another raw batch of plantain.

I sat on a high stool by the kitchen island, registering the sound of the music playing from her phone on the slab. Dark paradise by Lana del Rey, I love that song.

"Where's Aunty ifeoma?" I inquired about Maggi's mom.

"She's napping in the living room. Don't worry, she's staying for the weekend. I figured we both needed company." She responded tossing a slight smile my way and, flinching a little from a splash of oil from the pan.

Finally noticing the bags under her eyes, I felt a twinge of guilt. She'd been suffering and I haven't been there for her. Her eyes weren't glowing anymore, heart shaped face pallid, and shoulders slumped. She hummed in tune with the music seeming a little lost as she put her black long hair up into a bun, but snapping out of it a little to frown at the oil that dampened a spot on her black pyjamas.

Black, was that on purpose? Is she mourning her brother or lover.... Guess it's both. Ughhh!!! this is maddening! The song wasn't making it any easier, the words I'd found darkly poetic now seemed all but foreboding. And it was on repeat.

"Loving you forever can't be wrong..." mother sang now, switching her hums for words. "...even though you're not here, won't move on--"

"Uwa! Are you okay? Be honest"

She came over to me, held my face in her delicate hands. "As good as I'd ever be habibi." she whispered unto my forehead and kissed it. Withdrawing with a slightly haunting smile.

****

"How'd it go?" Maggi asked once I returned. Snatching a plate of food from my hand.

"Okay, for the most part. She's devastated and trying not to look it. But I kept questioning the kind of grief she's feeling and... It's all so frustrating."

"We'll we're about to find out. But food first"

*****

My Third Cycle
1980

I was drawn into the abyss, I saw no light, heard no sound, there was nothing but great darkness. Floating and drifting for what seemed to be miles, feeling great emotional pain unable to shed tears, as spirits are incapable.

I began to hear a voice from the distance and as I got closer it became clearer, it wasn't just a voice but millions of voices crying, begging and screaming. It became so loud I could not hear myself think. I was rattled as I saw no one making these sounds I heard so well.