This is the fifth and final installment of the Rule series.
You don't have to read the previous stories of the Rule Series before reading this but it is highly encouraged to read the third installment of the series: Changing the Rules. Since the events of these story is connected with Rule 3.
WARNING: This story will contain spoilers from previous stories, especially Rule#3: Changing the Rules. This story will contain mature scenes that are not suitable for young readers so I advise to read it on your own risk.
***
Have you ever messed up so bad that you want to re-do life and hope that things will be better for the second time?
That's exactly what I feel right now.
Nakasakit ako ng tao. Kahit sinadya ko man o hindi, mali pa rin ang ginawa ko. I acknowledge that. I know that. Alam kong kahit ano pang gawin ko, hindi ko na mababawi ang nagawa ko. I can never take away her pain or use words to sugarcoat it.
Pero... pinili ko lang naman ang nagpapasaya sa akin. I choose to sin, for the happiness I desire. What is so bad about that? Oo, I felt guilty. Yes, I risked everything for him.
For years, I never felt that way for anyone. Sa kanya lang. Was I wrong to choose my happiness? Was I wrong to choose him, because he is my happiness? Because among all the things in the world, he brought light to my life and awakened my dying heart.
I thought everything would be worth it. I thought that eventually the feeling will go away, but it didn't. Parang mas lalo lang lumala ngayon at paulit-ulit ito sa utak ko.
Pero, bakit hindi pa rin ako ang pinili niya?
"Let's pretend this never happened. Let's go back to the way we were. As strangers." he started packing his things in my condo, like I was nothing to him. Ganoon kadali lang sa kanya ang iwan ako ngayon. Ang sakit.
I managed to look at him without tearing up. The pain stabbed in me the chest, like it's killing me slowly. I wanted to beg, but I feel weak and tired. Wala na rin akong lakas na maipon dahil pagod na pagod na akong ipaglaban siya.
Pagod na akong lumaban para sa aming dalawa.
"You'll chase after her?" I manage to ask, even though I knew how much it hurts me right now.
Tumigil siya sa pagiimpake. Hindi niya ako magawang tingnan. Mula kanina, ganyan na siya. Buong akala ko, parehas kaming handang sumugal para dito. I didn't know that I was the only one fighting. I didn't know that we're gonna end this way.
"Yes..." he answered and looked at me coldly. "Rie, you knew that what we did was only a past time. We were both tempted, because—"
"Tempted?" I scoffed. "You think we were just tempted, Troy?"
He gulped and looked away.
"Putangina mo pala, e!" I wiped my tears and cried. "I loved you! Alam kong mali, pero pinagpatuloy ko dahil akala ko parehas tayo! Akala ko, kaya mo 'kong ipaglaban!"
He looked down, obviously ashamed of himself. Dapat lang. Dahil kulang pa 'yan sa lahat ng bagay na binigay niya sa akin. Sa lahat ng problema at sa lahat ng sakit.
