In Transit

Exile

Notification
(1 text message received)

"Bei, please go check out your gate."

It's thirty minutes before midnight and she is still awake because she is waiting for her 24th birthday. Almost everybody's birthday this year is super different from all the birthdays before. Due to the pandemic, celebrations are a little too risky but most of all, a privilege. Since Bea did not want anything extravagant anymore, she did the groceries earlier for tomorrow's simple dinner.

Notification
1 text message received

"Bei, please. The gate."

Bea rushed to the living room upon the second beep of her phone. It's unusual of her during this quarantine to have a visitor. But it's quite assuming of her to expect someone this late. She opened the gate and much to her surprise, there's a bouquet of white tulips, a round carrot cake with cream cheese frosting, and to top it all, the man who she didn't speak for months.

She didn't know how to react. Surprised is an understatement on how she stood there for a minute, without blinking.

"Tatayo na lang ba tayo dito, Bei?"

"Oh come in."

She motioned for the tall man to enter her house. She went to the kitchen to get some snacks and drinks, but she splurged into a glass of cold water first to wake her senses.

"What brought you here?"

"I... I just want to greet you a happy birthday, Bei. This is your birthday tradition - bouquet of flowers and a slice of carrot cake."

"You don't need to. I thought..."

"Thought of what?"

"Hmm. Nothing."

"What is it Bei?"

"I thought we're not okay. I thought you're angry with me. I thought you are keeping your distance."

I think I've seen this film before
And I didn't like the ending
You're not my homeland anymore
So what am I defendin' now?

"Is it really me, Beatriz?"

"No."

"No what?"

"No, I am not angry with you. Heck, why should I be angry with you? Who do you think I am?"

"Bei, please. Please hear me out."

"Explain what? One minute you are pranking me with that hell of a prank call, then one minute, you're acting that  I'm like an uncurable disease. Who's the first one who didn't reply to all of this?"

"If you let me talk, I'll explain to you everything. But promise me, Beatriz, you will not cry anymore because of me."

"You are so unfair."

"Maybe, I am. But aren't you unfair too?
You know that I needed you, I have always made myself available for you, Bei. What happened?"

"Do you think it's easy for me to see you achieving the dreams we built together with someone besides me?"

"I am leaving tomorrow, Bei. I am flying to Japan tomorrow, August 2."

The girl was left speechless. She didn't know if it's a prank he wanted to continue but she was just hoping that it is just a dream.

"And I want to clear everything. I gave you space. I gave also myself time - time to think and re-evaluate from all this mess. You deserve the best, Bei. And I am no better now."

"You didn't tell me that you are leaving. I wouldn't know unless I read the news."

"I don't know how to break it to you. I hate leaving you. I hate making you sad. I hate making you cry."

"Ha. If you only knew."

"Yes, Bei. And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for leaving you in the blank. I'm sorry for leaving you clueless. But for now, Bei, please remember that I'm always a call away. You can call me in facetime everyday, and tell me all the problems like we used to. It's still you and me against all the world."

"I hate you. I hate your hair. I hate the way your eyes look at me."

"I love you. I love your hair. I love your eyes. I love everything about you. But now is not the time, Bei. Maybe, when I get back, or maybe when the timing is a little kinder to us. Happy Birthday, my Isabel Beatriz."

Beatriz hugged the man in front of her and saw the clock near her bedside indicating twelve midnight. She whispered thanks as she received one of her birthday wishes this year.

You were my crown
Now I'm in exile seein' you out
I think I've seen this film before
So I'm leavin' out the side door

So step right out
There is no amount
Of cryin' I can do for you

All this time
We always walked a very thin line
You didn't even hear me out (You didn't even hear me out)
You never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)

All this time
I never learned to read your mind (Never learned to read my mind)
I couldn't turn things around (You never turned things around)
'Cause you never gave a warning sign (I gave so many signs)
So many signs
So many signs

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Inspired by Taylor Swift's Exile.

Advance Happy birthday, Bea! xx

G