Dahyun dreams in Metaphors | Dahmo

Dahyun dreams in Metaphors

"What's going on with you these days, Dahyun-unnie?" Chaeyoung's voice barely registers in Dahyun's mind. She is preoccupied with the other end of the table they are seated on.

"Nothing's going on." She mumbles in reply. She keeps her eyes fixed on Momo's profile as she speaks animatedly to Jeongyeon and Nayeon. She watches the way she moves as the discussion becomes heated. The exaggerated head movements. The tilt of her eyebrows, creasing every now and then in the middle of her forehead. Her nostrils flaring ever so slightly when Nayeon adds something she didn't quite agree with.

"You haven't looked my way the whole time we've been sitting here. Not to mention your weird behaviour yesterday..."

It's everything about Momo. All the little things. The creases that appear near her mouth when she smiles, the sound of her laugh, the perfect little lines under her eyes when her cheeks lift up, the tiny line of gum visible above her teeth when she grins big and wide. It all fascinates Dahyun. She even notices that her perfect ears rise up a little with the expression.

"Dahyun, you're looking at her. You haven't looked away."

It's like the air around Momo is just... warm. It feels like the rays of the sun early in the morning. Soft, gentle, warm and safe and Dahyun finds herself thinking of all the excuses in the world to stand up and move closer. Because despite the painful pounding in her chest, being close to Momo is her goal. Even if all she is allowed is to be 30cm away. It doesn't matter if she is never allowed any closer. She just wants to feel Momo's warmth up close.

"You're in love with her. Aren't you?" Chaeyoung's voice finally cuts through Dahyuns serenity. In an instant she feels as though a wall has been built between her and Momo. Separated. Cold.

Dahyun turns her head sharply to face Chaeyoung, who's eyes seem to pierce through her own. There is a hint of annoyance on her face as she stares.

Dahyun tries to think of what to say in response, but her mind remains blank. Because she knows Chaeyoung is right. Dahyun is hopelessly in love with Hirai Momo... but she just can't admit it out loud. She can't even confirm it with a nod or a slow blink because that would also mean facing the reality of it all. And that reality is one that Dahyun has been avoiding for as long as she has known Momo. The reality that she has repressed over and over again.

"You're an idol." Chaeyoung whispered, leaning in and her features morphing into an expression of concern. She speaks out loud the fear that has plagued Dahyun since she felt the first loud beat of her heart in the presence of Momo.

More than anything, Dahyun is glad. Glad that Chaeyoung doesn't seem to mind that she's in love with her band mate. Glad that she doesn't make a big deal about her feelings for another girl. Glad that she's an idol because she knows that it would be impossible for Momo to love her back anyway.

"I know." She replies with a sad smile. She fights her tears and turns away once again to face the other end of the table.

Momo laughs and the warmth is there again. Dahyun lets a smoke barrier form around reality and allows her mind to imagine a world where loving her unnie was okay. A world where her unnie would love her back.

It isn't long after that Momo catches her eye. Her own eyes light up with a spark that Dahyun wishes means something more than it does.

"Dahyun-ah." She calls and Dahyun falls in love with her again. The way that her own name runs off Momo's tongue and trails to her ears is addictive.

She takes this call as excuse number one. Momo is calling me so I should move a little closer, so she knows that I'm listening to her.

Dahyun scrapes her chair across the floor to join the three girls at the end of the table, abandoning Chaeyoung entirely. She now sits right next to Jeongyeon. Only a single meter away from the warmth she so desperately craves.