Blinding Lights [COMPLETED]

Chapter 24

Looking back, I could say I still have the best memories of first-time events and experience with Yulo.

From that fleeting and unexplainable feeling everytime I watch him play  to the simplest gestures and expressions he do. I've memorized it all. And I promise to take it deep inside my heart, guarded and treasured.

But what does it really takea to keep a relationship that way. Does it still include keeping something from your partner?

I maybe wrong for not letting him explain. Pero ayoko na. Ayokong mapagod ako sa sitwasyon namin. I don't want to take the risk anymore.

I don't want to be left.

Kaya uunahan ko nalang.

"Siguraduhin mo Vernice na huli na ito." paalala sa kin ni mommy nang hinatid nila ako sa airport.

Nakakatawang isipin, parang kahapon lang naligaw pa ako rito sa kalasingan at sa kagustuhang mapuntahan si Yulo sa isip ko.

And here I am, finally doing it for real. Iba na nga lang ang sitwasyon ngayon kaysa sa kahapon.

"Opo."

I look at dad. He still doesn't approved this. Aniya ay pwede naman daw naming pag-usapan iyon ni Yulo at huhupa naman daw ang galit ni mommy.

Ewan ko ba. It's just that the fear of being left out became my driving force in doing this.

"Mag-ingat ka roon hija. At... kung papayag ka, tatawagan ko si Yulo para ihatid ka sa NAIA pag-uwi mo mamayang gabi."

Umiling ako. Kaya ko naman ang sarili ko. Hindi ko maatim na makita at makasama pa siya sa pag-uwi ko.

This day will be exhausting for sure. Nag-absent pa talaga ako para lang rito. Mommy was really determined to break us apart. At kung ito ang paraang gusto ko ay pagbibigyan niya ako masunod lang siya.

I dialled Yulo's number when I found my seat on the plane minutes before the take-off.

I tried so hard not to read his flooding messages last night.  Andami niyang tanong kung bakit biglaan daw. But in the end he gave his complete address.  It was an apartment building along Katipunan Avenue just near his school.

"Hello."

"Verns! Bakit ka pupunta dito? May laro ako mamayang alas nueve.Makakaabot ka? Yung tungkol kahapon-"

Sunod-sunod niyang tanong. Wala siyang ideya sa pakay kong pagpunta. Nag-alala siya kagabi at may iilang tanong tungkol kay Caleb. 'Yun lang.

Akala niya ay isan sorpresang bisita ko lang to sa kanya.

"This will be quick. I'm on the plane now. And y-yes... manood ako. See y-you."

"Verns? Umiiyak ka? Verns, hindi ko... maintindihan may p-problema ba tayo?" his words stumble.

I ended the call. I hate that I broke down in the middle of the call. How will I do this later? Kung sa boses niya pa lang sa kabilang linya ay naiiyak na ako.

I slept the whole 45 minutes flight to Manila. My eyes were still swollen from crying awhile ago. Nakakahiya na napansin pa yun ng katabi ko at nag-alok siya ng panyo.

I said I was okey. Or atleast I was...

This is the first time that I went here alone. Ito rin ang unang pagkakataon na hindi ako nakaramdam ng pangamba. Mas namutawi sa akin ang takot...

I arrived at 8 am exaclty one hour after their game on MOA. I already book a VIP ticket. Hindi naman masyadong punuan dahil eliminations pa lang.

Pumara ako ng taxi. Hindi ko masyadong kabisado ang Maynila kaya nakaabang ako sa Google Maps. Baka lang sakaling iligaw ako at may mangyaring masama.