RUSSIAN ROULETTE

孤独

"Does that look good ? Of course it does, why do I even ask ? Everything looks good on me. Sadly you don't have the Talent to pull anything off.," said Sooyoung, looking in the mirror.

At the last sentence, her index finger aimed in my direction. "You're right," I agreed.

Now she looked at her hair while I stood next to her with a small brush in my hand.

"Can you give me the brush, please?" She asked nicely and I handed her the object.

"Some color on your lips wouldn't be bad, huh?"

Before I could say something, she smeared some paint over my lips.

"Now you look like a walking corpse and fresh lips."
Satisfied, she put her lipstick in her pocket.

"Okay honey, off to class. Did you finished my-"

"Yes."

I gave her the homework I did for her and left the toilet.

I was alone.
Even though Sooyoung walked right next to me, I still felt lonely. And used. I felt like a servant and Sooyung was the queen.

But what else should I do ? After all, she's the only one talking to me.  Everyone else was no longer interested in me, but Sooyoung, Sooyoung saw her little friend who'd help her anytime in me.

Before we were in a group with Seulgi, Joohyun and Yeri. The five girls who had a lot of fun together.  Unfortunately, the group broke.

I regret being Sooyoungs servant. I thought she'd treat me like her other friends.

There are days - like today - where she treats me like a real person or as I like to say, a best friend.

For the first time ever, I was allowed to apply her lipstick. At such moments, complete anger and regret towards her was gone and I was happy that I could help her.

Half of the students in the classroom turned to us when we both came in.  Either out of curiosity or simply because they were friends with Sooyoung.

Her friends waved her over and one of them looked at me disgusted. This meant that I wasn't one of them.  Understandable.

Now I was a stranger to Sooyoung.  Her friends ran through her hair, complimented her and did what friends did.

"Did she steal your lipstick ? The color is resembles like yours.", a girl whispered, probably to Sooyoung.

I heard it. I have very good ears.

It was quiet at their table.

I can imagine Sooyoung looking at me right now. Her stares burnt into my neck.

"Yah."
I winced, because her voice was loud.  That came unexpectedly.

"Did you take my lipstick without asking ?"
That also came unexpectedly.

"After all, you could have asked me about it, it doesn't suit you anyway. I would wash it off, my love."
And that too.

I looked at her blankly. A while ago she was the one who recommended to put the lipstick on me.

Oh, wait. She is embarrassed to admit that she did that.

I took out a handkerchief and cleaned my lips.

Yeri, an old friend of ours, looked at me. Her expression was kind of pitiful.

I got some flashbacks from our old friendship.

Seulgi, the calm of the five of us.
Joohyun, the mother of the five of us.
Sooyoung, the best dressed of us.
Yeri, which is a bit strange, but still a great human, among us five.

And then there was me.

Seungwan, the silent one.

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571 words