Silver Rain | Jikook

✨ Don't hate me✨

"I'm bored. Play a game with me."

"No. Your games ends up giving me trouble. I'm not playing with you."

"So, you don't love me ,hyung?"

"....."

"You're a liar. You don't love me."

"I..I Love You, Jungkook!"

JIMIN's POV

A peaceful afternoon and I was sleeping peacefully in my room, after being in practice studio all night. My bones been aching, back hurting and head's been thumping after overworking myself all night. After getting thing's off of my mind I thought I can finally be able to sleep after days of sleepless nights but Jungkook doesn't seem to let me work on it for now.

He came barging into my room complaining how bored he gets when no other hyung is around. They must've gone to studio or shopping since it's sunday , leaving bored Jungkook alone with me. Not like I'm complaining but he's totally a pain in head when bored and I'm not in a position to deal with that.

While rubbing my eyes with palms ,I got up leaning to the bed's headboard and I looked at the digital watch on side table, switching on the table lamp in the process.

"You won't deny to play with me if you love me."

Here he asking me to play with him and here we go again. As always, him, saying I don't love him and me, blurting my feeling out. If only he knew I love him more than a brother or a friend, if only he realized for how long I've been in love with him , if only he had seen my eyes when I look at him, if only he have ever asked what love mean to me, what he mean to me.

My heart have learned to conceal it's feeling with a smile ,but still it hurts. It hurts, when I say I love him and it doesn't mean anything to him. This might be the billionth time I said I love him but not even a first time I see something in his eyes for me.

He smiles at me , he giggles , laughs , hugs and that makes me the luckiest person on earth to witness all, but isn't that he do with other hyungs too? Will he ever see me differently? Will he accept me and treat me the same if I tell him about how I feel for him? Will he hold my hand and promise to never let go? When I hold him in my arms , will he do the same ,like he never did with anyone else? Maybe no. Maybe I think too much. But one thing is for sure, this secret is going to live within me forever. He can't know about this.

Since debut, it's been two years plus one year of my training . I saw him growing from 15 to 18 . With his growth, these three years my love for him grew strong and stronger each passing day and I became more and more good at masking my feelings. Now, I can live with hidden feelings and pain for the rest of my life but would never be able to live if Jungkook hate me. Last thing i would ever want is to hurt Jungkook and to be hated and ignored by him.

I was naive when I used to show too much love and affection towards him earlier which lead to Jungkook being uncomfortable and distant from me that time. That phase of our relationship taught me , Jungkook doesn't see me like I see him and would never want to see me more than a hyung and till now, I've been respecting that.

So I'm doing my part now, playing a role of a good hyung every day. Masking my romantic feeling by brotherhood. Trying best to live in this moment with Jungkook, wanting nothing else than to see him happy.

"Hyung~?" I saw Jungkook waving his hands infront of my face as he set comfortably on other side of my bed wearing black loose t-shirt which seems larger than usual and faded blue denim shorts up to length little above his knees.

Traces of natural rays of sun seeping through the window and golden light of the table lamp perfectly spreading and highlighting his face ,neck and his half chest which is exposed by his loosely hung black T-shirt and making him look hot while angle of lights on his face resulting in creating shadows of his eyelashes, making them seem more fuller, longer and beautiful and eyes bigger , rounder and alluring. His cute nose and puckered up rosy lips adding glory to his face and I couldn't help but think he looks etheral.