Serotonin

10 I too much

Chapter 10

"You can't be serious," he said in an incredulous tone and ran a hand through his hair. My eyes betrayed me and fixated themselves on the veins popping out of his arms, but I averted them. The librarian shot him a look of displeasure because of his volume.

"You know, I am not a fan of repeating myself." I paused when Adrian rolled his eyes at me.

"But, considering your inability to comprehend, I'll do you a favour and repeat that I am serious," I said with a small sarcastic smile, and Adrian stared at me wryly.

"This is unacceptable," he muttered in exasperation as he glanced at his laptop for the second time. I controlled the urge to scoff at his comments.

"It's who I am, no one is telling you to like it," I shrugged, but he didn't pay heed to my remarks and continued to examine my assignment.

"Come on, your answer can't be "to survive"," he said and looked at me with disbelief. The librarian shot Adrian another look, so he grabbed my hand and seated us at the far end of the library, barely giving me time to collect my belongings.

"Why not?" I asked while taking a seat across from him. I placed my bag on the table while he opened his laptop. 

Our assignment week was almost over, and we were left with three more areas to cover. Professor Langford had mailed us a set of questions that we had to answer and then tricked us by sending the answers to our partners. The questions were absurd, and Adrian had been perplexed by my answers.

What do you want in life?

To survive.

It was true. I didn't seek happiness or contentment because somewhere along the way, I had forgotten how that really felt like. One hurdle after another, that's how my life went on.

What kind of people do you dislike the most?

Liars.

And cowards who kept running away.

What quality do you admire in people?

Resilience and bravery.

By bravery, I meant the power to stay when no one else would. The bravery of those who are not afraid to speak up and call out the wrong. The bravery of those who can be kind even when they're suffering.

If you could live without caring, what would you change?

Nothing cause I still don't care.

This wasn't the whole truth but what I truly wanted, contradicted everything about who I had become. A part of me just wanted to run away and take a break. Let all my frustrations out and fill the void inside of me. I was lost, but I really wanted to find myself again.

"Because there's more to life than just surviving." Adrian's words broke me out of my reverie. But, sometimes surviving is all we get. I wanted to say, but I bit my lip to stop myself from blurting out my thoughts.

"Yeah, like what?" I asked with a challenging glint in my eyes. 

And Adrian never backed down from a challenge.

"Cherishing the happiness in good moments and growing from the hurt in bad ones. Making memories with friends and winning against people who put you down. Enjoying the thrill of the unknown and chasing the things that give you meaning. Living Olivia, not just surviving," He finished, and I was stunned. He had again caught me off guard by his words. I smiled at him because I was glad that at least one of us had the willpower to fight for a better life.