Best Part: Book 1

Chapter 19

SO THAT'S IT. That's my story. The rise. The fall. The end. And now—here I am—in this lousy restaurant Somi and Rosé dragged me to, where I just finished telling them pretty much the same story I told you.

When I was six, I learned how to ride a bike. Like all kids when they first take the training wheels off, I fell. A lot. Any time it happened, Somi was the one who was there. She dusted me off, kissed the scrapes away and convinced me to climb back on. So it's only natural that I expect my sister to be compassionate about my heartache. Gentle. Sympathetic.

What I get is, "You're a goddamn idiot, you know that, Lisa?"

I bet you were starting to wonder why we call her The Bitch.

Well, here you go.

"I'm sorry?"

"Yes, sorry is exactly what you are. Do you have any idea what a mess you've made? I always knew you were spoiled and self-centered. Hell, I was one of the people who made you that way. But I never thought you were stupid."

Huh?

"And I could have sworn you were born with testicles."

I choke on my drink. And Rosé laughs.

"I'm serious. I distinctly remember changing your diaper and seeing those cute little guys hanging there. What happened to them? Did they shrink? Disappear? Because that's the only reason I can think of to explain why you would behave like such a pathetic no-balls coward."

"Jesus Christ, Somi!"

"No, I don't think even He can fix this."

Defensive anger seeps into my chest. "I really don't need this right now. Not from you. I'm already down—why the fuck are you kicking me?"

She scoffs, "Because a swift kick in the ass is exactly what you need to pick yourself up. Did you ever even consider that when Jennie said they were 'really good,' perhaps she meant they were civil? That they had decided to be friends? Part amicably? If you knew half as much about women as you think you do, you'd understand that no woman would want to end a ten-year relationship on bad terms."

"That doesn't even make any sense. Why would anyone want to be friends with someone they used to be able to fuck and can't anymore? What would be the frigging point? No. You're totally off base."

She shakes her head. "Regardless, if you had acted like a woman instead of a wounded little girl, you would have told her how you felt."

Now she's just pissing me off. "Do I look like a fucking asshole to you? 'Cause I'm not. And there's no way I'm going to put myself out there and chase after someone who wants to be with somebody else."

A look washes over Somi's face that I've never seen before.

At least not directed at me.

It's disappointment.

"Of course not, Lisa. Why should you chase anyone, when you're so content to let everyone chase you?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means everything has always been easy for you. You're beautiful, intelligent, you have a family who loves you, and women who lay down for you like sacrificial lambs. And the one time you have to struggle for something you want—the one time you have to risk your heart for someone who's finally worth it—what do you do? You give up. You shoot first and ask questions later. You curl up in a ball and wallow in self-pity."

She shakes her head slightly, and her voice softens. "You didn't even try, Lisa. After all that. You just...threw her away."

I look down at my drink. My voice is quiet. With remorse.
"I know."