𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔 // sooshu

🌊

 "i really need to tell you something..."

shuhua sat in a criss-crossed position, gazing intently at soojin with her doey eyes. she smiled warmly. "you can tell me anything."

soojin sighed at the statement. she didn't exactly know what she'd be telling the taiwanese girl.

while she collected her words, soojin stared into shuhua's eyes. she was engulfed in the mesmerizing pool of jet black that made the pain go away and yet come back all over again.

"shuhua-ya..." she looked down. "i think i h-"

soojin shook her head. shuhua still looked at her with full attention.

"shuhua-ya... i think i love somebody..." soojin paused, her breath hitching at the last syllable.

"...someone i'm not supposed to love."

"you can like anyone? what do you mean?" shuhua replied, squeezing soojin's hand tightly.

"no shuhua. the girl i like-" soojin swore in her mind.

oops.

shuhua shifted her position, her warm smile turning more into an unreadable resting face.

"w-who..." shuhua said shakely, avoiding the obvious.

"shuhua, i like you."

shuhua's mind went blank. completely dead. her hand dropped from soojin's, finding its way to cover her own eyes. she felt awful.

what has she done.

soojin's eyes searched and scanned the younger's for any response. any sort of reaction. soojin bit her lip as her eyes got glossy again. "say something?" she needed a something. anything. "p-please, shuhua..."

" jjin-jjin..." shuhua looked guilty. it was inevitable.

soojin swallowed harshly.

"i don't know what to say..." shuhua acted dumbfounded, covering up her immense panic.

soojin closed her eyes and looked up to prevent an outbreak of unwanted tears. she rested her throbbing head in the palms of her hands.

"shuhua, you drive me crazy. from the way you're my number one fan onscreen to the way you smother me with kisses offscreen. and your smile, don't get me started on how your smile can easily make an awful day easily the best of my life. any day that you smile is a good day." soojin said, trailing off.

shuhua's cheeks heated up at the compliment, but soojin didn't see this.

"why? why do you treat me like this, it drives me insane." soojin said shakily, tasting the saltiness of her tears. "how do you expect me to not do the same... and why do call me 'babe' and 'honey' shuhua-ya, why do you act so flustered around me and constantly remark we're a couple. how do you expect me to feel?"

shuhua's throat felt like it was closing up.

"jjin-ah..." her voice was croaky.

"that was fanservice..."

 "what the fuck?" a silence took over the two.

soojin started to laugh hysterically.

"why are you laughing?"

soojin's forcefully painful cackle trailed off into a sob.

shuhua put her arms around the older. "oh, don't cry... please"

"don't fucking touch me." soojin pushed shuhua away.

soojin really loved shuhua. she loved her so much, she'd never want to do or say anything that would potentially harm her. she cared about her well being so much that she felt more guilty than shuhua at this point.

soojin did everything in her power to not cuss out or hurt shuhua in this moment.

soojin regained her posture and wiped her tears with the hem of her shirt. she looked shuhua dead in the eye.

"how can you say that. how can you put aside four fucking years of your nonsense in the trash. you come into my room, into my bed, give me countless hours of affection and pull me back in every time. you have me on a fucking string, shuhua."

a single tear streamed down shuhua's pale face.

"what do our kisses mean to you?"

soojin points to the bed. "what does this mean to you..."

"what do i mean to you shuhua-ya... or is that 'fanservice' too?"

shuhua didn't answer, soojin felt like throwing up.

"get out of my fucking room."

with that, shuhua quickly collected herself and walked out of soojin's bedroom, full of shame. what the hell had she done, and how could she fix it? she held her head in her hands and mindlessly walked to minnie's room.

"what's wrong shuhua?"

————————

a/n

hhhhhhhhhh quick small update i hope u still love me also thanks abbonk for da help <3

might redo sum previous chapters to make the storyline a bit more cohesive so don't be surprised lyy

anyway yall ready for dumdi dumdi i know tf i aint