Not the Alpha

10 Date Night

I push away the sadness that lingers after the meeting and focus on Samantha as I enter my house.

"This smells Amazing!" I say as I wrap my arms around her.

"Are you surprised?" Samantha asks dipping a spoon into the sauce in the pan and tasting it. "You know it's a good thing Lacey had me stock the kitchen... but most of the spices are unopened. Do you ever cook?" I give her an awkward smile and look away.

"The pack house has good food ya know." I say. Sam just rolls her eyes.

"Go set the table, Mate." She smiles and I go to the dining room.

I set the table for two candles and all.

"You know I'm never going to cook with you as my mate!" I tell her after my first bite. "This is fabulous!" I mumble with my mouth full.

"You're going to choke." She tells me and I grin.

"You gonna give me mouth to mouth Sammy?" I tease her.

"You give a choking person the Heimlich maneuver not mouth to mouth genius." She responds.

"So you don't want to give me mouth to mouth?" I pout feigning hurt.

"I didn't say that." she says leaning over to kiss me.

This is perfect. I've never felt so at peace. So loved... but I can't get my father out of my head. I have to change my name... what will it be?

"Carson, what's wrong?" Sam asks pulling me from my thoughts. I smile.

"Nothing Love, just lost in thought. So what have you been up to?" I try to change the topic.

"Errr! Wrong answer. Try again." She says crossing her arms.

"My father... can we please drop this? I don't want him to ruin our date." I say.

"Its bothering you Carson. We don't have to talk about it but you are going to be in a foul mood until you do so I can just go home." She says standing. I jump up and grab her arm.

"Okay." I concede leading her into the living room. I sit down on the couch and she follows holding my hand. "He disowned me... that's not really a surprise and I wrote him off when I was 9 but still..." I pause and she hugs me.

"That's awful! He's your family! How could he..." she starts

"Sam!" I say cutting her off. "He's a monster not family... all of the scars I have are from him. I didn't want you to know all the details. He beat me, burnt me, stabbed me, and when I wasn't Alpha he whipped me until I could barely move. He coated the whip in wolfsbane to stop my healing... he's not worth being upset over." I tell her. It feels good to just lay it out. To admit what he's done to me.

"I'm so sorry!" Sam cries as she pulls me into a hug. She forces me to lay with my head in her lap as she plays with my hair. This position makes me feel weak. I shouldn't have to be comforted. I need to be strong. I go to sit up but she pushes me down again kissing my temple with one hand moving through my hair. "If him disowning you doesn't upset you what's wrong?" She asks once I stop fighting her. I sigh and roll onto my back looking up at her.

"I have to change my last name. I hate him but I love my brother. This will cut me off from him. I don't want to lose him... but I can't even visit him! Aaron is only 11 and with me gone! I don't want to think of what my father will do to him. I can't protect him... I promised to protect him." I feel myself begin to cry. Sam shushes me sweetly lowering her head to mine.

"You protected him for 11 years. This will blow over and you'll see him again. It may take years but you will see him again." She tells me holding my face. "And no matter what name you have he is still your brother."

"He's still so young... I don't want to see him hurt but theirs nothing I can do... I'm weak. I can't help him." I cry out.

"Mason will do what he can and once your father cools down you will be back in his life." Sam try's to calm me.

"My father doesn't cool... I won't see Aaron until he's dead." I say flatly.

"Then you just have to wait. Then once your father is gone you can get your brother back." She tells me instilling some hope. One day I will have him back. One day I will have my brother again. Until then I need to be the best Beta and mate I can be. I can't sulk forever.

"Thank you Sam." I mumble.

"Just relax Carson. We can discuss your name tomorrow... you know it will be my name too so you better choose well." She smiles down at me as I yawn emotionally drained.

"Are you sure you want to stay like this... you can't be comfortable." I mumble not really wanting to move.

"Just sleep Carson. Theirs no place I'd rather be." She says as I drift off.