they say that when you start to hear things that aren't there your on your way to insanity.
when i was young i talked to myself. i asked myself about the weather and what i was going to do later. but it was never "huh it going to rain i suppose" or "i guess i should have a sandwich for lunch and watch tv after." it was more like i was talking to the other mes in my head. i would speak and then she would. my mother would tell me to stop and that that was the first sigh of going insane.
i still talk to myself. its strange, not the fact that i do, but that she answers back in a voice that isnt mine. my father tells me its my ego. but i think she is more than that. she asks me what im doing and where im going, and when i do something else she gets upset and we argue until i tune her out.
my mother says her thinking pattern is "im going to this then this and then that." and while she is doing those things shes thinking about other things like taxes, cooking, the dog that just passed or that bird hopping outside the window. and sometimes she listens to songs if their stuck in her head. mine is always what im doing, music in the background, and an inner conversation about how im doing everything wrong and that everyone is staring at me and judging me. my brain is in a constant state of anxiety and adhd.
im not saying i hear voices or im schizophrenic or have anything wrong with my brain. for all i know i have a neurotical brain and have nothing wrong with me. im just saying that my brain never shuts up. its kinda loud in here tbh tbh.
