Hidden Rainbows

Be yourself

There's a test that's taken when you're 16, yet no one talked about it. I usually tried to ask around, my parents never said what it was. Teachers wouldn't talk about it.
My friend Asher, and I have different ideas on what it could be. Asher hasn't said any ideas lately.
He came over today to just do homework together. Which we both ended up not really concentrating on.
"I'm stuck on this Ash. Have you gotten anywhere?" I hope he's gotten somewhere. If not we can always just work on it together.
"Not entirely yet. I just finished a different problem. We could work on it together if that'd help," Asher was always nice. He also wasn't one of those kids that faked their whole personality.
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Kids usually pick on me for how short my hair is. They also say I have a weird accent. They ended up pointing out a lot. I felt more and more insecure. The teachers see what happens. They don't care about it at all. Kids get away with bullying me.
I was walking down a hallway, it wasn't crowded. The eeriness and the chilled air didn't calm my tense muscles. Some kids came out of nowhere.
They punched my arm. I knew who they were. It was Ray, Diana, and some of their friends.
A different kid came. He looked around and saw what was happening. He ended up prying them away from me. I could still feel my heart beating in my throat, the blood rushing in my veins. The clamminess of my hands. I was shaking. The kid came back.
"I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. I'm Asher, what about you?" He seemed pretty polite.
"Chia,"
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We continued with our work. Asher had finished already, I was wrapping up.
"It was nice working on it with you Ash,"
"You too,"
Recently there has been a thing that would frequent my thoughts. I wonder if Asher would have a clue about what I was talking about.
Every day I always see men with women. Never women with women or men with men. What's with that? Were there people who went against their gender? They don't talk about stuff like that.
Asher had left before I could fully ask him. We have computers so may as well just look it up.
When I started to look it up online, nothing was showing up. Did it not exist? There was an old library nearby that's abandoned and is under watch.
The building had an old rusty copper sign, it was the only indication of what it was beside the hundreds of books inside. I looked around making sure I wouldn't get caught.
Looking around I found a faded white, pink, and blue looking striped flag. Never have I seen something like it before. It was foreign. I saw a book that had the flag on it. It said something that I haven't come across before.
Transgender
I saw other books that included words like lesbian, gay, bisexual, as well as including transgender. There were people nearby. I took the books and the flag and shoved them inside of my rough worn messenger bag. Then I sprinted home.
Going to my room I looked at the flag again. It just felt important for some reason. I looked into the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender book. It had different definitions.

Gay: A person (male) who is attracted to their own gender
Lesbian: A person (female) who is attracted to their own gender
Bisexual: Attraction to a person regardless of gender
Transgender: A person who doesn't identify with the gender assigned at birth

I spent hours reading the book. Just looking at the definitions and meanings. Transgender stuck out to me the most. It drew me in.
I put the flag away. Transgender described mostly how I felt. So guessing I'd be trans? Maybe I could ask my dad about Gays or the whole LGBT thing.
May as well just talk to Ash about it. I don't know how my dad would react.
Chia; Hey Ash
Ash: 'sup?
Chia; Could you come over again?
Ash; I'll try
Ash; Gettin' out now
I hear a rapid knocking on the door. Slowly I head down. Answering it I saw that it was Ash. I let him in.
"So what did you want me over here for?" He asked quizzically. Of course, I'd given no context for him to go off of.
"Something, just come with me to my room,"
We both went to my room.
"So I was wondering, what if someone of a gender liked another of the same gender? So I headed to the old library. I found some information there,"
"Oh?"
"One had mentioned transgender,"
I ended up handing the book over to him so that he'd be able to see it. He slightly raised his eyebrow when he came across the definition of Bisexual. Could he possibly be?
"Chia, was there a specific reason you mentioned Trans first and not the others?"
"Ash, I am trans. I identify more as male than female. That's why I wanted to talk with you,"
"Well I'm bisexual, you could kinda tell from my reaction to the meaning. Anyways, do you want to go by a different name now?"
"Sure, but I have no ideas in mind,"
"How about Cedar? It's not really a popular name, also it's inspired by nature which you love,"
"Yeah!"
I went over and hugged him.
"Thanks so much, Ash,"
"I'm your friend Cedar. It's just what I'm supposed to do."
"Still thanks for everything."
Suddenly my door was barged open. It was Rhea. She seemed like she was fuming, her eyebrows were furrowed. What did I do this time?
"What's going on Rhea?"
"Chia why is Ash here, and what is that book?"
Before I started to even reply she snatched the book away from me. My fingers felt bruised from how quickly she yanked it away. She looked over the cover. Rhea scrunched her nose up, while also slightly raising a brow.
"Where did you find this? Or was it from the old library that you're not supposed to go to?"
"Why? There's nothing wrong with it, Rhea!"
I felt a burn on my face. My hand went up to the place which she hit.
"Yes, there's something wrong with it, Chia! It's illegal. You need to stop this or you'll be getting in a lot of trouble,"
Rhea left with the books. She had no clue about the flag. It was still hiding under my dresser near the closet.
Ash had decided to stay to comfort me. Ash was over frequently so I had a pullout bed he was able to sleep on.
Today we were going to head to the park. It wasn't voluntary, it was required. So we went, Rhea came with us keeping an eye on us. She wouldn't stop pestering Ash and me.
We all got there. The crowd was deafening. There's a speaker to talk about something or other.
"Something was brought to my attention by Rhea. Someone went into the old locked up library and found some old books. Which holds something bad, LGBT; Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender. Which all are illegal and bad. That's why we test 16-year-olds, to see the betrayers and see those that are loyal, "
Quiet murmurs were heard all around. The murmurs got louder and louder.
Someone out of the crowd yelled out.
"How did they get in?"
"For that, we don't know, but they managed to get through the guards that were there,"
My sister ended up going up.
"This is a serious matter as you can tell,"
I couldn't just let this continue on, the dragging of the people who are just trying to be themselves.
"So what? What's the problem with it? People love who they love! Love is love. So you'd rather see people with guns killing each other than people who love each other and hold hands? Want to know something I'm transgender and bisexual. My name is Cedar, I go by He/Him, I am male. Have a problem with that? I won't go, nor will I change,"
Ash stood beside me.
"I'm bisexual, I prefer dudes. You can't change me, or expect me to love differently."
Rhea looked disgusted at us, so did most people.
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People treated us differently, but we stayed hopeful. We stayed true to ourselves. Even when they put us through conversion therapy.
-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-
It took a while, hardships, and pain. It wasn't easy but Ash and I weren't going to give up. We kept on defending ourselves and being true to who we were.
Society isn't always right after all.