Divided Loyalties

VII

Vader held still for some seconds as he felt heat rushing to his scarred cheeks. Was he experiencing... shame? No parent should be ashamed of embracing his son. However, he let Luke go when he felt his discomfort. He didn't want him to panic or something.

As a matter of fact, the boy was a little frightened: his mind was recalling the last time he had been too close to his father. But that day nothing happened, perhaps because Vader had hugged him to beg for his forgiveness in the first place.

Luke headed back to the room he shared with Leia, glancing at Vader first. There was something wrong in that man, if he could be called a man. He was too tormented, he raised compassion somehow. It was clear, at least in his son's eyes, that he was divided between two equally important loyalties.

Leia let out a long sigh of relief when her brother came back. She had heard some horrible noises when he was outside, and she feared Vader had killed him.

"Luke, by the Force!" she exclaimed, standing up from her bed. "What happened? I thought you were looking for a fresher!".

She looked terribly scared, and Luke knew she was dangerous when she was scared.

"I just wanted to talk to him" he said as he closed the door with a tired smile.

"You can't talk to a monster" Leia replied harshly. She had finally regained her voice and now she was ready to express herself with spicy comments.

"He isn't completely a monster, I think we can save a bit of Anakin... he cares about us, I felt it".

"That thing on your shirt. Is it blood?".

"It was an accident. He can't decide between us and the Emperor, but he'll make it. He kind of hugged me before".

"I'm not going to listen".

Leia laid on the bed facing the wall, more furious than ever. She wouldn't ever forgive her father for the repelling things he had done, especially if he didn't show any signs of remorse. And she wasn't going to be influenced by him, not even for the colour of a dress or for the food she would eat for supper.

She was beginning to feel irritated by Luke as well. He hadn't done anything wrong, but he was going to have himself killed within a day or two with that carelessness of his. If Leia had to think of something that scared her to death, it would be being alone on the Executor in Vader's hands.

She quickly propped herself up with her elbow ar looked at her brother intently.

"Do you love me?" she asked out of the blue, her clever brown eyes looking determinate and vulnerable at the same time.

Luke smiled, almost in an amused way, and leant on the door.
"I thought you trusted me enough to know that without asking" he said, pretending to be offended.

"I do trust you... it's just a question" Leia murmured as she hugged her knees to her chest. She looked so sad that Luke couldn't resist the urge to sit beside her and pulling her close.

"Come on, what happened? You aren't yourself right now" he said softly. He hoped he could help her, whatever her torment was.

Leia's eyes were wet now, she was about to collapse.

"Can you, please, avoid dangerous things?" she pleaded, her voice almost too weak to be heard. "If anything happened to you, even for a noble cause, you would leave me alone, and I wouldn't make it. I wouldn't...".

She broke into tears, quietly, but with visible despair. They were the tears of a girl who had only one person left before losing everything.

Luke couldn't describe how he felt. He was seeing his sister, the person who had watched his planet being blown up into pieces without a single tear, crying shamelessly for fear of losing him. He realised how much Leia cared about him... just as much as he cared about her. He couldn't keep on being so careless, he couldn't make her suffer like that again.

"I promise I'll be more careful, alright?" he suggested as he started stroking his sister's hair, not touching her burned neck.
"I do love you" he added, smiling as he felt Leia's hand grabbing his for support.

~~~

Vader was slightly disconcerted already, and his happiness collapsed even more when he received a call from the Emperor himself. He was starting to hate his Master: he didn't feel as important as before, and he had the sensation that Sidious would get rid of him.

He obliged himself to destroy these thoughts as he opened the door of the personal room he used to communicate with the Emperor, knowing that Palpatine could read his mind effortlessly.

Vader knelt down, ignoring the stinging pain in his knees where the prosthetics met his flesh, and lowered his head when the hologram appeared. His Master was hooded, as always, and he looked like a fake smile had been printed on his demonic face.

"What are your orders, my Master?" the apprentice respectfully asked.

Sidious' grin vanished.

"I felt an annoying disturbance in the Force" the Emperor hissed, showing his rotting teeth. Vader did not answer, but waited for more precise information.

"I sensed the Force... sliding towards the Light Side, as if we had a new enemy...".

Vader's throat want dry. Was it Leia?

The Emperor's following words proved him at least partly wrong.

"... or as if we were losing an ally" Sidious said.

Vader mentally cursed. That ally was himself: his children and his love for them had been influencing him.

"I feel big trouble in your presence, Lord Vader" Palpatine added. "I suggest you try some Sith meditation. There you will find your answers".

The communication was closed and Vader held still, his mind and heart turned upside down. He couldn't allow that old worm to discover his children's presence. Luke and Leia would join the Dark Side, yes, but with their father, not with Palpatine. Vader wanted them to become merciless assassins, but not sadistic, wicked snakes.

But at this point Vader was very confused. He wished his children would join the darkness, but it seemed a pity to him to pollute their pure Light. He hadn't seen Luke or Leia smiling yet, but surely they had the same ethereal smile his long lost Angel used to bear with such grace. Could he replace his Angel's smile with a wicked grin?

More anguished than ever, Vader returned quickly in his quarters, his dark cape in a whirl. Just like his very soul.