Vein of Life.

Chapter Four.

This chapter is dedicated to starryepiphany for not giving up on this book and constantly asking me when I will be updating.

C H A P T E R  F O U R 

You know what’s the frightening thing about our souls? 

How they struggle and thrash in disagreement with our mind and body. 

We wonder why our own soul would fight against itself. The reality is, we are the ones who are killing and chaining it. For that reason, it demands to be let free from the reigns inside our very being. A deep, anguished ache begins to form inside and soon enough, it yells at you to not allow it to shrivel up and die. It does not want to be eaten away at, like a carcass that’s overpowered by its hunter. 

And the worst part? We don’t listen to its miserable cries. We don’t stop the torment. Instead, we continue to allow ourselves to fall into a deep, and very dark abyss. 

And once you’ve pushed yourself into that bottomless pit, there’s no coming back up. That’s what our minds keep telling us.

And what the soul tries to disprove. 

I’ve always been that girl that loves too hard. That puts too much effort in. That will walk from one end of the Earth to another, just to make sure those around me were happy, even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness in the process. 

At least, I used to be that girl. 

But as I manoeuvred along the bumpy path known as life, I began to apprehend that just because I bend over backwards simply to form a smile on someone’s face, that doesn’t always mean they’re willing to do the same for you. You get hurt along the way. People are all too happy to use and abuse you. When you have something to offer them, they’re there. When you don’t, they forget about you within the blink of an eye. 

They take your attention and love for granted and for that reason, I promised myself that I would never try so hard for anyone ever again.

And the truth is, we shouldn’t be afraid to get rid of toxic people in our life. It doesn’t matter who they are - if someone causes you constant pain and makes you feel small, they need to go. If they own up to their behaviour and make an effort to change, that’s one thing. But if they continue to disregard your feelings then you shouldn’t feel guilty in expelling them from your life.

Because those kinds of people - the one’s who take everything for granted - they keep you as an option in their life, not a priority. 

So I said to myself, screw everybody. I had dealt with enough opportunists in my life to know that sometimes, an individual had to forget about pleasing everyone else, and for once, do what was good for them. What was good for their soul. I told myself that I needed to make sure I was happy first, then others followed.

Somehow though, I took it to the next level. I pushed people away from me. All the time. It’s not worth the risk, my brain would constantly whisper to me. I sought comfort in the fact that if I had no friends, then there would be no opportunity for hurt.