I'll Be Your Memory💘

MY LIVES' FUCKED UP!

Everybody has some aspirations in life. Ofcourse even I'm one of them. Jumping into today's generation, everybody inspires to become someone with Fame,Money,Luxuries,Respect. But the top most is yet 'MONEY.' I never understood why always money!?...Today everybody is just living to earn for their families and living a so-called "luxurious" life. But no one is ever interested in thriving for what they actually wanted: 'HAPPINESS' & 'SELF-CARE.'

So welcome to my busy and tedious life. My name is Aashia which means Life and Hope. But I deny it because it conflicts my character. The hope to live life was totally shattered in my tiresome existence.

Let's open this door which separates your world from mine. So I have a younger sibling named Keisha, you'll either find her on the couch or under it! But when she has her crazy mode on, she becomes the deadliest! If she's in a mood she'll make the best three cousrse meal but if she's not she won't even get her ass up to get a coffee for herself.

   She's just two years younger to me but those two years are enough to have a different thought process.

   On one side I'm the one who obeys every fucking order of the parents and Keisha is the REBEL of the house. She's just a typical younger sister. I'm always the one sitting with a friend or two and munching snacks while watching  Netflix. Where she'll be at some friend's house party with thirty new strangers, twenty close friends, three of her best friends and playing TRUTH & DARE with complete nobody.

   When i go through the flashback, I was once Keisha. But now the things have changed where I would rather spend a night at home. So that's where my parents and I have got along. The journey with my parents have been a rough ride because they're like the "INDIAN PARENTS."

   But in this four-membered family I do somewhere miss my grandparents because I was their cute little Pumpkin who they treated like a newly bought Cup&Saucer. I know you would ask me why this in specific, right? I would say that because there is no other precious time except the time spent with your that cup of tea in the entire day. But then day-by-day the tea is sometimes replaced by coffee, milkshake or a smoothie.

I was just 2 years old and my parents told me that grandpa and grandma shifted back to village. Then after years I realized that they were dead! Now that hurt me cause I couldnt even bid them Aduie or couldn't even give then a last goodbye kiss. They did teach me the definition of love but then DEATH, no I was really too small to learn that.

    THIS WAS MY FIRST HEART-
     BREAK EVER!

   Now adding to more of my discomfort we land up to my social life where I am so Groggy and disheveled. This suffocation is literally quilting me and the weight and pressure of going to college, tutions seemed to have embedded into my blanket burying me under the grave of anxiety. This is where I am forcing myself out of bed,to put through a typical Monday morning routine. The noise of the alarm penetrates through the walls and triggers me enough to stuff myself under the pillow. The most important or the worst time of the day is when I have to get dolled up and look pretty. So I throw out my tight jeans and the most best t-shirt that I own.

   You know, I always thought that college life was far more wild and cool but then I was wrong as always. You don't need to think before you leave out for school or look at yourself in the mirror of how you look. But in college people are just taking notes of how you look, the way you walk, the way to speak and the worst, is of how you think. You can't even have a control over your own thoughts. The freedom of speech is just given as a constitutional right but is never in practice!

    The most crucial part is when I'm out the door and I remeber i have to resemble the messed up cupboard which is piled up with soo many masks of myself. It's my very own face but except prettier. Some are bitchy, sad, annoyed, elated, excited,etc.,etc... ughhh...its totally a mess!

    I was never this person who'd care of how I look. Being in oversized hoodies with night shorts, sitting on the couch and watching Netflix(now that's me!) I was the most mischievous person, who would break tubelights in school and scribble on the washroom walls and would also get beaten up by parents. As I was never confined to doing one work at a time, I was the definition of a multi-tasker. May it be playing songs on high volumes and doing Maths homework side-by-side, dancing on the floor and thinking of what to do in future and even planning a GOA trip. I was the perfect ME when I was small.

   But something happened that changed my life and changed who I was. Who made the book of my Life feel completely blank, who literally bleached out every colour  and turned it into black!

   "BLACK" that's the definition of Darkness; Dullness but I took it as a theme of writting my book all over. I chose being in my room studying or doing literally nothing and just staring at the sky and listening to a soft music. I even chose not to think about the never-gonna-happen trips.

    I decided just to disconnect from every fucking colour if my life. I chose just to dip the feather in th black and start my story all over...

  

In short MY LIVES' FUCKED UP in all the ways possible!

Hey guys I'm not a writer but I love putting my thoughts and imagination into writings so I hope you all love it. So wait for more chapters to dash into!
                   Stay tunned❤