𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙣 | + 𝕗𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕤 | 𝗶𝗺𝗮𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗲𝘀

𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙜𝙤 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣' 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 [02] | 𝙚.𝙥

   𝙙𝙤𝙣'𝙩 𝙜𝙤 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣' 𝙢𝙮 𝙝𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙩 [02] | 𝙚.𝙥

It has been twelve weeks. Three whole months with the feeling of an empty house, empty bed, empty life.

So much has changed in such little time. The boys and I had made a video for the Sidemen channel a few days after the accident, explaining Ethan's situation, which was a very raw video. Full of tears, frustration and hurt.

The support for all of us and prayers for Ethan overwhelmed us all. I can't count how many incredible messages and posts I recieved wishing for Ethan's safe recovery, but I know it was well over a hundred.

The boys didn't upload for a good three weeks. We spent all our time at the hospital, but after a scare with Ethan's case becoming critical after a month or so, the boys needed an outlet. And for them, that was making videos.

It was obvious that none of the boys were really okay, but they made light of the situation and tried to keep it light hearted for entertainment purposes. They would do a special part, dedicated to Ethan, in every video. They would update the fans, and then make harmless comments on how Ethan would've lapped up all this attention he was getting nowadays.

The boys visits to the hospital became less frequent. They still visited, of course, but sometimes it would be days apart. I don't blame them, sitting in that room of silence drives you mad.

There's not a day I haven't sat by Ethan's side. Sometimes it was with company, others I was a lone wolf. But I was never really alone, I knew somewhere - deep down, Ethan could hear me, somehow.

"Hey, sweetheart." I lift my head from its place on Ethan's hand, which I am gripping tightly.

Ethan's mother, Ruth, is stood there with a worried expression. I stand up, dropping Ethan's hand softly, and embracing the older woman.

She holds me tightly, just like he used to. She is the reason why Ethan gives such incredible hugs.

"Hey, how are you?" I respond, pulling away with a sad smile. She lets out a soft sad chuckle, "I'm trying to be okay. Just wanna hear his laugh one more time."

"Me too." I nod, gesturing to my seat, "I'll give you some time, if you need." She smiles, kissing my head.

"You're a good girl, Lucy. Thank you, for making my Ethan so happy." I bite my lip to refrain from the sob falling from my lips.

I nod, smiling as best as I can, before leaving the room and heading through the long, daunting corridors, down the steps and all the way out of the hospital.

I need air. I feel like I can't breathe. I feel suffocated.

In my frantic state, I bump into a chest, making me fall back. "Woah, shit. Lucy, sorry. You okay?" I look up, seeing Callux.