Hope

Thursday-1:28 pm

I need a life.

I've been following my nine year old sister and her friends around the small touristy town like a loser.

Julia's even glanced behind her and said "I'm okay Drew".

Which is code for, you're lame Drew, go find something better to do.

I bought myself a little more time though, buying Julia and her two friends ice cream. It's a quaint place, the ice cream shop. With its cobblestone path and friendly staff.

Apparently it's not quite tourist season yet, the streets quiet and the town small but as the woman who sold me the ice cream said "any day now that'll change".

I lag behind the girls as they bustle down the street, licking their ice creams as they point at store fronts. Leah and Camilla have said about two words each to me. Something along the lines of a disappointed "oh hi". I didn't bother telling them I'm not here to babysit. Though they seem like the kind of girls that might need a babysitter around. Dressed older than they are, an air of entitlement and privilege already oozing from their postures.

It's a game that both Julia and I have mastered. How to fit in with our social class even though we aren't anything like the rest.

Slowing my steps, I keep my few feet distance from Julia and her friends, taking interest in the wood slatted siding of one of the buildings as they whisper back and forth with each other. They're conspiring about something, probably how to ditch me. And sad as it is, if they do, I won't have anything to do.

Camilla, I've already decided she's the lead girl, gives Julia a nudge, nodding her along. It draws all my focus, my act of not caring gone just like that as Julia glances over her shoulder at her friends.

All my senses are heightened, a nasty pit opening up in my stomach as all the possibilities run rampant in my mind. And the farther Julia gets the less distance I leave between her friends and me .

I'm looming over their backs when Julia stops at a bench nearby. An occupied bench. A girl there, with a notebook she's focused on. The blackest hair I've ever seen and rich chocolate skin. She smiles at my sister, her dark eyes dancing with kindness and for a moment I'm stunned.

"Hi, I'm Julia." She juts her hand out to the girl before jabbing her thumb in my direction. "This is my older brother Drew. He needs a friend."

I laugh, I have to. What else can I do when my nine year old sister is a better wing man than my best friend.

"Does he now?" The girl surveys me with a curious look in her dark eyes.

"Yes he does. He's been following my friends and I around." Julia cups her hand around her mouth like she's going to whisper a secret and then plain as day says "he's sort of embarrassing."

"Good god Jules." I mutter, tipping my gaze to the sky.

It's a beautiful day out, the sky a vibrant blue with white puffy clouds scattered through it. It's the kind of day that has the ability to lift spirits even of the most depressed kind. You can't help but feel happy when the sun shines down and warms your skin like this.

"He's not a weirdo or anything." Julia goes on to explain. "I promise."

"Oh because that's sounds great." I mumble, my face flushing as embarrassment floods through me.

I can feel the girl watching me, studying me closely as her eyes take me in but I can't manage to look at her.

"Is that so?" She asks Julia.

"Yup completely harmless. He's got manners and everything." She beams.

The girl laughs.

"What am I dog?"

"And where are you off too?" The girl asks Julia, I watch their interaction through my lashes as I pretend to stare at the ground. "That your harmless older brother can't go?"

Julia gives her a big innocent smile. I know that smile. It's the 'I'm up to no good' smile. She gives me it all the time when we go to the mall and she's racked up a bill.

"We just need some girl time." She schmoozes.

The girl laughs, amused with Julia's sweet not so innocent innocence.

"Alright, I'll take one for the team." She tells Julia and before I can say anything the three girls squeal and run down the street.

"HEY!" I shout after Julia. "Call me! Back here at 5!"

I don't follow, I know when I've been tragically ditched. Besides out of every girl that Julia could have picked, she picked the prettiest.

A laugh blows out of me and I wring my hand along the back of my neck. "Sorry about that."

She plucks herself off the bench, stepping out from the shade of the tree she was under as she straightens out the sundress she has on.

My mouth goes dry instantly, sticky and parched as I try my hardest not to be a pig and check her out. Coach Mo would beat me if he saw me do that.

"Not a problem Drew." Her voice is warm, teasing almost. She offers me her hand and I shake it. "I'm Hope".

"Nice to meet you Hope." Somehow, I manage to keep my voice level. Glancing behind her at the notebook that she left on the bench. "Were you writing?"

She follows my gaze, stepping herself closer to me as she pivots and it's like every nerve comes to attention at her close proximity. She's so close. Her bare shoulder grazing the button down I put on before I left.

"No, not writing." She says warmly. "I like to draw."

"Can I see?" Her focus is still on her notebook but my focus is her.

The way her skin shimmers in the sun, her black hair shines as it reflects the sunlight, thick and smooth as it falls down to her shoulders. The slight curve of her nose and the roundness of her face that leads down to her slender chin. Her lips are full, I bet they're soft and without thinking I lick my own, my thoughts too focused on what it'd feel like to kiss her.

"No. But you can sit for me." She says.

"Wha.." I shake my head to refocus but now that the idea of kissing her is in my head it's overwhelming.

"Sit. Let me draw you." She points to the bench, her finger leading her there, away from me and before I can even debate it I'm following her.

I want her to stay close, almost touching me, the center of my focus so I can get lost in right now rather than my grandparents lonely mansion and my shit parents and everything I hate about my life.

Her thin fingers pluck her notebook from the bench and she points at the other end. I sit obediently, feeling awkward and stiff because I'm not sure what I'm doing.

"Am I supposed to pose?" I ask, heat creeps up my neck. "Or something."

As she lowers to the bench her eyes are dancing over all my features, studying me with such detail that I can't help but hide behind an uneasy smile. I'm not sure I like being scrutinized so closely.

"Nope." Her pencil starts to move across the page, tilted just enough that I can't see anything. "So Drew, what brings you to Nantucket?"

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Julia's such a stinker.