Invasion

Chapter 18: Another NamJoon Explanation

    Okay, a really quick explanation of the thing where NamJoon is releasing emotions (basically) into YoonGi, because neither of them have any idea what's going on. These colored gases, liquids, stars and shards are the emotions that NamJoon wants to give YoonGi at the time, but he has no idea that he is actually filling YoonGi with peace or lust or a fantastic orgasm (glittering golden stars).

    The first time it happened was when they fucked outside at the school and YoonGi was cleansed of all past hurts and etc. This was also the first time that NamJoon noticed YoonGi's emotions and spoke of them beyond noting feelings that would affect YoonGi's taste - he'd asked if a teacher was bitching at YoonGi. During sex, NamJoon had an instinctive desire to clear the negative emotions from YoonGi.

    As their relationship progresses, especially after he finds out that YoonGi is his A Doua Inima, NamJoon takes much more interest in YoonGi's feelings and therefore the times when he wants to change YoonGi's feelings/help him increases.

    On the night that YoonGi first played the piano, he was in a very volatile emotional state. This made NamJoon confused and wary. So, he was very careful with YoonGi. He didn't want to make YoonGi feel anything at that time, because he couldn't even guess what feeling would be the right solution. He doesn't know that he's actually giving YoonGi these feelings, so he doesn't feel obligated to find that solution in order to help YoonGi. Instead, he just fucks YoonGi when he wants fucked, makes it a nice soft fuck, and at the end he wants YoonGi to have a fabulous orgasm, so the golden stars are released.

    I decided I'll go ahead and clarify NamJoon's state of mind since he found out that YoonGi is his A Doua Inima. While it will be briefly addressed in chap. 19, I thought readers might be interested in a more thorough explanation.

    Before learning that YoonGi is his A Doua Inima, NamJoon considered him to be an amusing meal. However, the moment he found out the truth, everything changed for him immediately. The thing that was the most pressing was to protect YoonGi from his father and to feed him since he's also just found out that he was basically killing YoonGi.

    He did try to look up information about A Doua Inimi on his phone, but that was just to understand the situation better. When he complains that he thought ADIs were just a fairy tale, it's because he never paid attention to the stories and he knows very little about ADIs.

    YoonGi instantly becomes the most important thing that NamJoon has ever had in his life, or will ever have. If you remember, NamJoon was raised by servants, rather than his parents. This is actually the first time that he's experienced any kind of love. He's happy about it, but also cautious and unsure of how to proceed.

    YoonGi is an emotional wreck and he obviously isn't happy about the A Doua Inima thing, so NamJoon focuses on learning to communicate with him properly and take care of him. It was difficult to show the communication part, because this story is 100% focused on YoonGi and things couldn't be so obvious that YoonGi could easily determine what was going on. But, I tried to give little hints that NamJoon was adapting to YoonGi. Like, in the hotel the morning after finding out they were A Doua Inima, NamJoon's initial reaction is to get angry when he discovers that YoonGi is disobeying him by trying to leave, but he quickly reins in that emotion because it obviously isn't the best way to deal with YoonGi.

    NamJoon is happy that YoonGi is his A Doua Inima, not because he's getting enhanced abilities, but because he suddenly has love, a partner, and a goal for his life. Loving YoonGi has dramatically changed NamJoon as a person and the trajectory of his life. If he'd never met YoonGi, he'd have ended up being the sort of person who never works, lives off his father's wealth, plays all the time and basically gets more and more jaded because of his lifestyle.

    We don't know how YoonGi's future would have gone if he'd never met NamJoon. But we know for certain that YoonGi saved NamJoon from a meaningless existence.

    It's also that disconnection from life, no real goals and just sort of "being in the moment" thing that NamJoon is doing that allows him to easily accept having an A Doua Inima. It isn't interfering with anything important, because there is very little that is important to him.

    One more thing, I realized that I'd made a bit of a mistake while I finished up Chapter 19. Technically, NamJoon probably should have bitten YoonGi to help heal his broken wrist and concussion. I do believe that he would still have taken him to the hospital, but once YoonGi was diagnosed and discharged, NamJoon would have bitten his wounds.

    But, I didn't even think about that because I was totally focused on the big events of Chapter 17. Thinking about it, I decided that NamJoon is feeling guilty about YoonGi's injuries because he believes it's his responsibility to protect YoonGi. NamJoon is not at all used to feeling most emotions, and certainly not guilt. In his tangled logic, he feels that if he heals YoonGi he will be assuaging his guilt in a way that he doesn't deserve. YoonGi's pain is his pain and believes that he deserves that pain as punishment for failing at his duty.

    YoonGi is so caught up in everything else, that he hasn't even thought about asking NamJoon to help to heal him. Because if he did, NamJoon would do it immediately.