Guards Down in Manila (Nursing Series #1)

Prologue

"Ang lahat ay magsabi ng, Amen."

I heaved a sigh as I slowly opened my eyes. I was contemplating whether to stay here a little bit or interact with my ka-churchmates because there is a high possibility that it would be awkward.

"Hi, Chelle," si Renz.

I gave him a small smile when he approached me before giving him a handshake when he offered his hand.

"Okay na kayo?"

He suddenly asked me before letting go of my hand. Mahina. Parang kami lang ang gustong makarinig.

Inalis ko ang tingin kay Renz as I took a glance at the man who was currently laughing with his Tito from afar. Ramdam ko ang bahagyang pagkirot ng dibdib ko by just seeing him again after 2 months.

"Hindi ko alam." 

Tanging nasagot ko kay Renz at mapait na ngumiti.

Dalawang buwan. After those 2 months, ngayon na lang ulit ako nakaattend ng church service. I told them I was busy preparing for college but the truth is I don't want to see him just yet. He did me an extreme impact. Ang mga binaon ko na trauma na nakuha ko sa pamilya ay nabuhay muli dahil sa kaniya. I regained those self-doubts that I thought I was over with and gained lots of what-ifs again because of him.

Pero ang tanga ko pa rin talaga siguro pagdating sa kaniya. 2 months ... yet I am very well aware that I'm still into him. My heart still shouts for him.

But I don't want to push myself to him anymore. Kapag ayaw na, ayaw na. I carry a huge pride within me and to chase someone who showed me complete uninterest is not my thing.

"Sorry talaga sa ginawa ni France, Chelle."

"Okay lang, ano ka ba!" I laughed. "Hindi naman naging kami, 'no!"

He did not laugh but I saw pity in his eyes. It scared me. Siguro alam niya kung gaano ko kagusto ang pinsan niya. Si Renz ang pinaka-close na pinsan ni France. 

I never asked France why he got confused about his feelings for me, hinayaan ko lang siya dahil I'm scared of the possibilities. Pagod na rin ako kakaintindi. I know it sounds ridiculous but for my peace of mind, it should remain unknown. After all, maybe this is God's plan you know? He's diverting me away from him because he's just not good enough for me.

He left without any explanation and that explains a bunch about him already.

"Chelle! Aalis ka na raw sabi ni Janine?"

Nalipat ang attention ko sa kapatid ni France na si Laurie, papalapit ito sa akin ngayon.

"Huy 'te, sa Manila lang din 'yon! Kung makareact ka naman parang sa ibang bansa na siya permanently titira."

Natawa ako sa sinabi ni Lyn, pinsan din ni Renz.

"Pake mo ba! E sa mamimiss ko 'tong baby ko," Laurie went near me and gave me a tight hug. "Mamimiss kita, 'wag ka na umalis, please?"

My heart skipped a beat nang magtama ang mga mata namin ni France sa pagyakap ng kapatid niya sa akin. Kilala na siya ng mga mata ko. France is a tall moreno guy, instrumentalist, basketball player, and an academic achiever. Kaya siguro grabe na lang ang pagkabaliw ko rito noon.

Malapit na siya ngayon sa amin kumpara kanina. I bet he heard our conversation. But with the way he looks at me now is breaking me again into pieces. Walang emotion. Walang ipinapahiwatig. Parang walang pake.

Bakit parang wala kang pake? Masaya ka ba? Was it all just your vengeance, France?

I wanted to ask him those. Tangina, ang sakit talaga mapaglaruan ng tadhana at karma.

Laurie broke the hug and cupped both of my cheeks making my attention divert to her. Natatawa ako ngayon sa itsura nito. I know that she was just joking with 'wag na akong aalis, but I also know that she was being genuine about missing me. She is one of those people I consider with the purest and loveliest soul.

"Ilang years ka roon?"

"4 years? I don't know, until I got my college degree. I need to graduate with awards." Tawa ko.

"Nagset na naman ng standard parents mo?"

"Tumpak ka dyan!" Singit ni Lyn.

Kasama ko kasi ito sa bahay ni Lola ng araw na kinausap ako ni Mommy at Tito.

I can say that France's sisters and cousins are quite close to me. Dahil na rin sa years na kami rito sa church. Si Lyn ang pinaka-close ko sa pamilya nila, palagi kong nakakasama.

"Oo, nakakapressure nga e." I faked a laugh. "Bawal daw ako tumapak dito sa city kapag walang academic award na maiuuwi. Ginawa akong wanted," I jokingly said but half meant.

"Proud kami sa iyo palagi, Chelle."

The two girls pulled me for a group hug, natunugan ata nila ang mood. They are aware of my situation with my family and I really am thankful to these amazing girls.

"France, tara na. Hinihintay ka na ni Nica."

Mahina lamang iyon pero sapat na para marinig ko.

It's as if something snapped in my ears. My head quickly turned to the man who just spoke. Si Shun na pinsan din ni France. Tangina, what did he just say?

I glanced at France at nakatingin din pala ito sa akin ngayon. Walang reaction, walang emotion and it's making me disappointed, mad, and sad all at the same time. Gusto ko siyang paghahampasin ngayon.

Bakit parang wala ka pa ring pake? What was really your intention? Ang sakit sakit mo naman.

Ramdam ko ang pag-iinit ng katawan ko, ang mabilis na kabog ng dibdib ko, at ang nag-iinit na gilid ng mga mata ko. I wanted to cry. Tangina, sabi ko na e. Nacconfuse daw siya or may iba? E girl best friend niya si Nica.