Dear Hope

Chapter 1: Hope

"Have you taken your meds?"

I get that question asked 5 times a day, a day where I lie in in my bed drinking my tears not being able to swallow, I spend most of my life thinking about the names I've been called, the amount of times I've been locked in the girls' toilet and my parents constantly telling me that I'm being too weak, that I am too 'sensitive'.That's the life that I'm glad I have sort of left, but now I've entered a new challenge, where my life depends on it.

"Ummm...yeah...I think so" I replied to my nurse Meredith Miller.

To be completly honest, she's too nice to me. After all the things I've done to her, thrown tantrums and telling her she's useless she keeps saying that it's just teenage mood swings but I know that I'm depressed, I feel my body getting lighter and weaker each minute of every hour, I pretend that everything is not my fault and that it's just the side effects of my medication.

"Cheer up kid, life's too short to be sad, no need to frown, you'll get better in no time,"

That was clearly a cancer perk, I've been getting them so much lately that the information still hasn't properly got into my head.

"Yeah, that's what everyone thinks..." I frown.

My mother hasn't properly visited me since last weekend, dad keeps saying that mum is stuck in her 'work fantasy'. You see, me and my dad understand each other a lot, we're like a pair of socks or a pair of gloves metaphorically speaking. When I was younger and my mum wouldn't really pay attention to dad and I, he would take me to Temptations for a milkshake or smoothie and if it was summer we'd go to the local shop and get ice lollies and sweets.

"Emm...Meredith...when was the last time I ate? I feel quite nauseous and my throat is throbbing. " I explained.

"Oh Hope, don't worry about it, if you're feeling hungry just tell me and I'll give you a hand,"

"Meredith you're too good to her, she doesn't need that much attention, she'll be fine eating on her own," came a voice from the door, which was clearly my mum.

I sighed, and sighed until she came up to me checked my temperature and answered a call from her phone, does she really love me?

She obviously does, why wouldn't she right?