Who Knew // YoonMin

🕺 13.2

JM: "Well... I think I'm about to break yours."

My mom's lips form a thin line. Her eyes narrow. Her white knuckles show how tense she is. My dad just keeps on nodding slightly confused.

D: "So...?"

JM: "So... I saw you walking down the street the other day and you spotted a gay couple holding hands and kissing. I noticed that you kinda looked disgusted?"

My mom's eyes widen. My dad looks even more confused now.

D: "Yeah, what about it?"

JM: "Are you... Are you disgusted by them?"

I look down at my hands, fiddling with the already wet fabric of the hem of my shirt.

M: "No. We just think it's inappropriate to show affection in public, and you know that."

I take a peak at my dad nodding. I exhale the breath I didn't know I was holding.

JM: "Would you be disappointed if I told you that... that..."

M: "---that you're gay?"

My mother finishes my sentence and I look her straight into the eye. Her expression is unreadable. She doesn't show any kind of emotion. Instead, my father starts coughing really hard, almost chocking on his own saliva.

Once he calms down, he looks at me with wide eyes, and a flushed face.

D: "You're gay ?!"

I look back down at my hands. Come on, Jimin, this is the last step.

JM: "I don't know... I just---"

But my dad cuts me off and I flinch at his outburst.

D: "WHAT THE FUCK?! That's just great! GREAT! My own son is gay! What the HELL, Jimin?! I wanted grandchildren and a beautiful wedding and happiness for your future, not---"

M: "Calm down, honey, let him finish."

Fuck. My mother never uses nicknames on my dad. I must've really screwed up.

D: "Let him FINISH?? He's GAY for fuck's sake! Our own SON likes to suck DICKS, and you tell me to let him FINISH?! What more could there be?!"

JM: "Dad, I just---"

D: "NO! DON'T YOU DARE 'DAD' ME!"

JM: "I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I'M GAY!!!"

There's a small moment of silence. My father and I are panting, his wild eyes and red face truly break my heart. He blinks a few times before pointing at me with his index finger.

D: "What? So... you're not...? You're normal?"

The tears I've been trying to hold back are now out in the open. Normal? Really? I would've expected my mother to react that way, but not my father. I expected him to be the one that doesn't care.

My heart hurts so bad, I can barely breathe. I almost choke as I try to deliver the following words.

JM: "I don't know if I'm gay. I just know that I've fallen for a guy. One guy."

My dad's jaw drops. My mother lays one hand on his back and starts to slowly caress him.

D: "Jesus Christ. That's probably just a phase, son. Stay away from him and everything will be back to normal again."

I shake my head furiously, more tears running down my cheeks.

JM: "It's not, dad. I tried not to think about him that way, but I just can't. He---"

D: "My son is not gay, do you hear me?"

JM: "Dad, what's so wrong about falling for a guy? You always taught me that love is normal and good, no matter who you love!"

D: "YOU'RE NOT. GAY!"

I flinch again. He points at me, then the entrance.

D: "As long as you say you're not normal, you're not welcome anymore."

He's beyond mad.
I'm beyond hurt.

My mother starts crying. I've never seen her cry.

Quietly nodding, I slowly get up and take a look at both of my parents.

JM: "I'm sorry. I'll go pack my stuff, then."