Tie Me and Love Me

Give her the tenderness she wants

The often unsaid thought between lovers. But not as an expression of brutality or sadism; instead it is a desire to give, a need to love and be loved in a different way.

 You want your partner to say that to you, or you want to say that to him or her.

 Perhaps such thoughts fill you with guilt, that somewhere in the deepest recesses of your mind lie the seeds of rampant unfulfilled aggression, waiting to manifest itself in acts of rape or worse.

 Or is this a paradox within your own consciousness? A self awareness that you could not cause the slightest harm to any living creature, despite your desires which centre around bondage and discipline, which society in general is apt to label ‘perversion’.

 You are aware of a need to express yourself ‘differently’ in a sexual context .

 There is a need to give, to see pleasure reflected in your lover’s eyes, to see ecstatic demand for still more pleasure that you have a need to create.

 Making love is an act of giving, and bondage is another way of expressing that. It is a gift of freedom, which allows your lover to express herself in the fullest sense.

 In the hands of a someone whose only thoughts are to take all and give nothing, the use of physical restraint can only be an act of inflicted torture, a desire to cause pain and suffering to an unwilling victim.

 This is the basic truth of all aspects of sexuality. To attempt to kiss an unwilling female, even to hold her hand, is to express your will with no thought of hers. Any sexual involvement must follow the same rule: take all, and you will receive nothing, give all and you will receive everything.

 Can you make this rule govern your sexual approach? Your desire to have your lover bound and gagged so that she cannot escape you remains unfulfilled but are these needs a demonstration of insecurity, that were she not tied up she would not stay with you?  Is there that fear that you have to create or fantasize bondage situations so that you may fully enjoy a sexual relationship?

 The classic scenario of a ‘victim’ spreadeagled and bound to a big fourposter bed, naked and unprotected from your lecherous gaze, and knowing exactly what you intend to do to her; unable to prevent your wildest excesses on her vulnerable body.

 But just suppose that ís exactly where she wants to be. ‘Tie me, and Love Me’

 Those words subtly shift your desire into an expression of her need, and remove those ‘bondage-guilt’ feelings instantly. Your wanting to possess her becomes an even more powerful need to be possessed by you. She will only accepts you as her Dominator, when she knows that you care for her pleasure more than your own.

 You have something she wants. You give.

 Your ‘victim’ has become more than willing, she has become needy; she offers herself to you to be tied; and by taking this initiative she controls the situation and loses the instinctive apprehension of the weak in the dominant presence of the strong.

 You take pleasure from her bondage, but in return you give her the total control of the situation. She has the absolute certainty that she can call halt if she should so wish, and that you can react instantly.

 This is the key to uninhibited sexual pleasure, no matter what form it might take; the demonstrable ability to stop.

 Being tightly bound and utterly helpless can be exquisitely pleasurable, yet on occasion can cause muscle spasm and sudden pain in the same way as any other strenuous physical activity.

 This can and does happen at any time; could you be at the exact point of orgasm, and stop dead? Stop literally in mid thrust and withdraw carefully and give all your attention to untying her and massaging cramped muscles?

 Could you laugh about it together afterwards?

 Consider the question well, because without an unqualified yes, your enjoyment of bondage will be strictly one sided, and once only per ‘victim’.

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 You might also enjoy my recently published bondage novel, Need
Amazon Link: http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00S1WNXJ4
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