Just Another Depressing soul

I want to die

It's been a while since I've written but it's getting bad again I want to kill myself more than ever I don't want to live but I need to push everyone away so that I won't hurt them I will lose my boyfriend who is my best friend i won't see my siblings grow up or see my cousins grow I'll die before my grandparents and my mother would not cope my older siblings wouldn't care I won't get to walk down the aisle or have kids but why would I put children in the world with a parent like me my boyfriend would blame him self I'm scared of what he would do to himself but i can't make him happy he needs someone else

I'm sorry
I've preached about not doing it but I'm finally giving up
I love you all

Good bye my love
Good bye to everyone